Nothing's Fine

Chapter 28

 Have you ever wondered what happens when you lose everything? When you lose your sense of knowledge? When a boy, who hasn’t known you but maybe for a month, knows yourself more than you? What about losing your best friend, for a second time? Have you ever wondered what it’s like for you to lose everything, and it all be your fault?

I knew. Sleeping here on the couch just reminded me of it some more. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go back to before Liam and his friends came home. I would trade my abusing mom over all the new found knowledge anyday.

I continued to toss and turn. My conscience wouldn’t let me sleep a minute. I stared at the ceiling for what felt like an enternity. I turned again, so that my face was buried in the cushions. I felt my feet sink lower as a figure sat down on the far end of the couch. I jumped, startled, but was instantly calmed as I recognised the him.

“Carter!” I hissed. “What are you doing?”

“You guys came home awful early, and everyone was in a bad mood. Plus you’re sleeping on the couch_” I cut him off.

“Not helping.” I stated, agitated.

“Sorry. Um, I was wondering if you wanted to come back to my place?”

“Excuse me?”

“It’s just, I know something bad happened because you’re sleeping on the couch and usually one of the boys takes you in, which means, I don’t know. Just, I was think that you might’ve just wanted to go away for a while.”

It took me a second to proccess what he was asking. I had never been to his house before, and I had never imagined getting to go there but right now, at this moment, I’d like nothing better than to get out of this house. Seeming as my house was off limits, his house was the only choice.

“I’d love to.” I smiled as I began to get up.

He offered his hand and I took it willingly. I folded the blanket that I had used to keep me warm. I walked to the kitchen and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper. Part of me just wanted to leave without an explanation, but the other part of me knew nothing would come from that. I began to scribble out the words.

‘Hi. Don’t worry about me. I’m gone with a friend. I couldn’t sleep here tonight so he offered to take me back to his place. If you’re worrying, don’t. If you couldn’t care less, that’s okay too. I just want you all to know that I was safe. xx’

I didn’t feel the need to sign my name. They would know who it was from if they found it. I put the cap back on the pen and left the note on the counter as I made my way out the door. Carter was waiting in his truck for me. I climbed in, giving him a soft smile.

“I gotta warn you though. I don’t live like this.” He gestured toward the grand house.

“It’s okay. Neither did I.” I joked.

We rode in silence for a few moments before he spoke up again.

“Listen, I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but, if I give you till we get to my house, will you possibly be able to tell me what happened?” He gave me a lop-sided smile.

“Yeah. Yes I will.”

“Okay.” He relaxed and put his hand on my knee, shaking it back and forth.

I let my head rest against the back of his seat. Why my life got so complicated, I don’t know. Now I had to figure out how to explain what happened, when I’m not even sure what happened.

How did Lou know all that? Maybe he was just pissed and was making things up? That couldn’t be it though. No one makes that kind of stuff up on the spot. He had known about it for a while. I could tell by the way he knew exactly what to say. Maybe he was planning all this, I don’t know, but it worried me.