Nothing's Fine

Chapter 38

A tear dropped from my eye as I felt Eleanor’s arms wrap around me.

“Would you like to meet her?” She cried.

“Yes.” I mumbled through the thickness in my throat.

She pulled away, and stood up.

“Well then? Come on!” She laughed.

I stood up and we walked to the door together. I gently closed it behind me as I heard elevator ding. I suppose Eleanor was just excited as me. Her child was about to meet his father. I teared up at the thought of it. Louis was a father. He was going to be a damn good one too. I saw it in his eyes. I hadn’t seen him so happy the whole time I’ve known him. He was going to do everything in his power to make this baby truly his.

“Are you nervous?” Eleanor nudged me.

“I’m scared. What if I’m nothing like she imagined?”

“What if you’re more than she imagined? She’s going to love you Sarah. No matter what.”

“Can I tell you something else?”

“Anything babe.”

“I_uh?” I chickened out.

I couldn’t tell her about my abuse. Not yet at least. She stared at me, confused. I shrugged it off and told her it was nothing. We rode the elevator down in silence. When we walked into the lobby, Liam and Louis were sitting there patiently.

I could tell the nervousness had kicked with Louis. His hands were shaking, and his knee was bouncing up and down. I noticed how flushed his cheeks were. His eyes widened when he saw us, causing Liam to turn around.

Liam’s eyes were bloodshot, and I was immediately reminded of what had gone down not more than thirty minutes ago. He stood up and walked over to me. He cautiously put his hand around my arm and pulled me away from Eleanor, who was walking towards Louis.

“Are you sure you want to do this? We just got here. We hadn’t planned on finding your mother this fast. Your mind could’ve changed.”

“But it hasn’t. Louis needs to go anyway.”

“Louis is scared out of his mind and needs time too.”

“He’s told you right?”

“Yes. He also told me that she’s your sister. Listen, I get it. You want to meet the woman who gave birth to you, but shouldn’t you stretch this out a bit more?”

“Why? If I meet my mom now, you can go home to your girlfriend quicker. She won’t have to waste the money with flying here.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Whatever. You and whoever you decided to love can figure it out sooner if I get this over with. Am I scared as hell? Yes. Do I wish you would be there by my side, making sure I don’t crumble? Yes. Why? I don’t know. I need someone there and I really want that someone to be you. Bringing Danielle out here just makes for a bad time. So sorry! Sorry that I want to end this trip as soon as possible so I don’t have to watch you suck face with her.”

I tried to get around him and walk over to Louis and Eleanor. They were holding each other’s hands. I watched as she talked to him, obviously trying to comfort him. His eyes were filled to the brim with tears. He was either scared shitless or so nervous that he couldn’t move.

I didn’t get very far thanks to Liam’s hands pulling back on me, blocking me between the wall and his body.

“Why won’t you admit it?”