Beloved: Lovable, yet in a non sexual way. Able to love one without purpose of intercourse. Means special in a way that is beyond that of lust, but means the purest of love.
Vanessa whines her hips to some Jacquees song blasting through the house while a blunt hangs from her lips as she cooks me something to eat in lingerie. Taking a picture of her with my phone I smirk biting my lip. "You don't know how much I been missing you." I confess sneaking a piece of bacon. "You don't miss me your dick does." She sprinkles some cheese on my eggs. "True but I miss this too. We been fightin' so much I forget how much we used ta vibe." I slap her on the butt as she walks past me to the refrigerator. "Distance will do it to you." She sighs exhaling smoke.
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"Yeah. Tha way you looking right now you makin' me regret ever moving away." I grab her wrist pulling her close to me so I can kiss on her. "You miss me? Huh?" Her eyes close as my hands slip between her legs. "Stoppp Lexus." She smiles handing me the blunt. "You gotta go remember?" She teases. I told Vanessa I had to leave for a couple of hours because I got a call early this morning from Mr. Morris asking if I could come over to give Rayne some company, he said something about her not feeling too well but with the way my hormones are set up a nigga might skip out on that one. "You gotta go check on your lil girlfriend."
"Chill. I'm horny, wassup?"
"Boy relax, what you tryna do, stretch me out to high heavens? I need a break and some food. I'm starving." She groans eating off the plate she made for me. I open my mouth so she can feed me a piece of toast. "You like this girl don't you?" She puts some eggs on the fork then eats them. Shrugging I look at her to see if she's tryna pick a fight or if she really wants to talk. "Ion like her more than a friend."
"Stop bullshitting." She rolls her eyes. "You left in the middle of a threesome to go be with her. I know you like her more than me at least." She starts cleaning the dishes she used. I eat my food in silence deciding not to comment on anything she said. "I don't like her more than you I just care about her like she cares about me. That's what a friendship is Vanessa."
"So in your head that's okay?" She turns around drying her hands. "Yeah it's nothing wrong with that. Tha only thing I understand you feeling uneasy about is her being a girl." She rolls her eyes. "I don't care if you have a friend that's a girl because I'm not insecure but what I do have a problem with is the fact that you guys kissed before and the fact that you feel comfortable enough to spend the night with her after fucking me, that's the problem." Setting my fork down I lean back. "Why you tryna argue? I don't feel like this."
"I'm not arguing and I'm not raising my voice. We're having a conversation so I can see where I'm at in your life. I'm twenty four, I don't wanna waste my time. I give you a lot of passes because of your age but you're blatantly disrespecting me. When I leave here I wanna know if I'm single or if we're together Lexus."
"You know what position you hold in my life so we don't needa discuss it." She shakes her head and starts cleaning again. "What?"
"I just wanna have an adult conversation with you without either of us getting defensive or argumentative. I give you your space, I let you do what you wanna do without blowing up your phone, I have sex with you whenever or however you want it, I cook and clean for you, and you can't even give me the one thing I want? I guess that's my fault though, I do too much for you."
"You that bothered by her? Because I'a just stop talking to her cause you starting ta switch up on me." She scoffs. "Baby I'm not bothered by no one. The fact that you don't understand this isn't even about her shows me a lot." She closes her eyes as if her head hurts. "Vanessa? You okay?" I get up. "I-I'm fine. I just needa sit down." She mumbles frowning.
"You pregnant?" I ask walking her to the couch. "No it was probably the bleach." She says quickly. Sitting down next to her on the couch I rub circles on her thigh. "Lexusss." She whines holding her stomach. "You on your period?" I ask trying to figure out what's wrong. She shakes her head no looking like she's panicking. "Something's wrong." She starts breathing hard so I go to my room to get my car keys and some sweats that I can put on her. By the time I get back to the living room she's in a full blown sweat. I hurry up and put the clothes on her and I pick her up quickly bringing her to my car. We drive for a good twenty minutes with her crying and repeatedly telling me something's hurting her. I park in front of the hospital and I help her out worried about her silence. "What?..the hell?" I mumble as I pick Vanessa up. My heart starts racing seeing the blood on my hands.
••
I sit in a chair next toVanessa's hospital bed holding her hand while she silently cries. I keep quiet not knowing how to feel or if I should say anything at all. "I don't understand.." she hiccups. The doctor looks between us and clears his throat. "Is it alright if we discuss a couple of things alone?"
"No, no it's fine if he's here." She sniffs. "Alright. As we discussed with you, you are very much pregnant. Were you aware of that?" Shaking her head no I glance at her. "I-I took a pregnancy test some months ago and it came up positive but when I went to the doctors they said it came out negative so I didn't question it after that." I clench my jaw hearing this for the first time. If Vanessa thought she was pregnant why she ain't feel the need to tell me?
"After that did you have any symptoms? Back pain, nausea, swelling, or weight gain?" He asks writing something down. "No. I've been getting my period and I felt fine until today. I don't understand." She explains. "Alright. What we'll do today is keep you to monitor the baby, run a few more tests, and we'll discuss a few options if you'd like."
"We good. We don't needa discuss no options."
"Lexus." Vanessa looks over at me. "That's fine but I'd like to warn you that this'll be a high risk pregnancy if you do continue full term. I'll leave you two to discuss your options at this stage of your pregnancy." He says handing a paper to Vanessa but I snatch it out her hand as soon as he leaves. "So you didn't know you were pregnant?" I ask cutting to the chase.
"I didn't know and I don't wanna fight Lexus but I can't have this baby.."
