Dear Beloved,

34| Congratulations..?

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R A Y N E

~ Chapter Thirty Four ~

"You leavin' me? Lexus sits up stretching. "I have that church barbecue thing with my dad remember?" He looks at his phone. "Oh shit." He mumbles ripping the covers off of him. "What?" I watch him now standing smiling at his phone. He holds his finger up making a phone call. "Hello? Vanessa?" I turn around to face him. His face lights up while he's on the phone. "I'm speechless...you went today?..woww." As if his smile could get any bigger it does. I walk past him getting my charger off of his nightstand and he grabs me pulling me into his lap. I mouth to him that I have to go but he holds onto me tighter finishing his conversation. "This ah blessing Nessa. We ah family and I'm gettin shit straight over here know that." I sit awkwardly listening to his side of the conversation. As open and as much as I care for Lexus and his baby that's coming it's still an awfully awkward situation to be in. My boyfriend that's not my boyfriend has a family that I'm plain and simply not apart of and sometimes his attempts of making me feel better about the situation only makes me feel more uncomfortable. I never say anything because I don't want him to think I feel a way negatively although I should address it before it becomes something bigger than it is.

"Rayne?" He snaps in my face. "Boo you good?" I smile. "Yeah. How's Vanessa doing?" I ask hoping everything's good with the baby. "Great." He smiles like he was before. "She found out the gender. Imma have ah son."

"That's great..that's really great. How do you feel?"

"I feel fuckin' amazing. She's havin' my first born plus it's gonna be a boy." He smiles. " I couldn't be more happy." I mimic his smile. "Well as long as your happy and the baby's healthy that's all that matters. Um I'm gonna be really late if I don't leave now." I notice the time  from his phone lighting up with texts from someone under the name Mariah 🤤💦.  He pecks my shoulder allowing me to stand. "Ight be safe."

••

I sip on some lemonade in my red solo cup watching little kids run around and church members talking amongst themselves. I've been here for about an hour and I've barely got two words in with my dad, he literally turns into a celebrity the minute he steps in the church. I smile watching him interact with Mrs. Webber, an older member in of the church. She's been here way before my time. "Hey girly." Nova gives me a hug. "Hey! You look nice." I say happy to see her honestly. We've both been in our own little worlds we haven't had any time to hang out lately.

"Soo anything new?" She asks looking around, I guess for Lexus but after this morning I've come to the conclusion we're definitely not on the same page let alone the same book. "Where's the new boo?"

"I'm single, there's no boo." I say feeling a type of way for taking a shower with him. That may sound so stupid and so little but that was a big step for me in this journey of properly healing and coping, I just hate that I shared something so intimate with him.

"You literally just called my phone freaking out after you heard him tell your dad he loves you and now just a few weeks later you're..single? Girl what happened?" I shrug really trying to dismiss this whole conversation because in reality I never asked if he was still entertaining other girls, I never even thought about it until this Mariah girl with the dumb little emojis by her name texts him. " I've been single this whole time Nova. Boys are just really freaking stupid and I-"

"Hey babygirl." I turn around hearing my dad's voice. "Hey Nova." She gives me a look basically letting me know she's not done with this conversation. "Lexus couldn't make it?" He asks before I can get a chance to speak. After my dad and Lexus had a conversation everything's been on good terms with them. They even hang out together without me sometimes.

"He has this thing I guess. I don't know." I shrug. "I'm glad I can finally talk with you before I have to leave. I know you won't be home later." I hug him. After these last couple of months of deciding if I'm ready to attend college and what college, I got accepted to a few but there was just this one with an out of this world nursing program down in Atlanta called Emory University. The only person that knows is my dad for now until I get all of the affairs in order such as my living situation which is very important so that's why I'm driving down shortly after this barbecue so I can go look at some in person and God's will I'll be able to put a deposit down on something.

"I wish I could come and support-

"It's fine dad, I understand. Really." I smile. "Just make sure you're ready and available for moving day."

"Who movin'?" An arm wraps around my neck loosely and the scent I've become very fond of fills my nose as he kisses my cheek. "My man!" My dad says somewhat loudly as they give each other dap. "What's poppin' Mr. Morris? You got tha block out huh?" I sip on my drink kinda tuning them out at this point. Once they get to talking it's hard to get them to stop. "Atlanta?" I snap out of my thoughts as Lexus looks at me confused as ever.

"Huh? What?"

".. I thought you two were going together. I'm sorry, I just assumed." My dad quickly apologizes already seeing the mess he just made. "It's okay daddy." I sigh. "Can we talk privately?" I ask Lexus so we can get off church ground before he starts cursing and acting a fool. He says bye to my dad then we walk to his car in dead silence. I can't tell if he's mad, sad, hurt or plain disappointed due to the dark sunglasses covering his eyes. "So you movin' and didn't think ta say nothin'?" He asks once we get in the car.

"I was gonna tell you.."

"When?" Surprisingly his voice stays at one volume and he hasn't went ballistic yet so that's a good sign maybe. "Once I got everything in order. It was no point in saying anything when nothing's even fully together yet."

"There's a point Rayne. You been lettin' me tell you I love you and shit just so you can leave? We could've just stayed friends..REAL friends not whatever tha fuck this is-"

"I told you I was gonna go to college eventually. This shouldn't even be news to you." I frown. "Wowww just wow." He exclaims. Realizing I let that part slip out of my mouth I roll my eyes at myself. I'm literally making things worse. "What was tha point in this then Rayne?" He motions between us making me feel awful. I mean yeah he knew I wanted to go to college but maybe he thought I'd stay here just because he's here. "You literally lay up with ah nigga just about everyday and you didn't think maybe I should tell him I got into college and I'm movin' away? In your head you seriously think that's okay?"

"Oh please you don't tell me everything. Let's not act like you care that much." I mumble. "I'm in love with you, I love you, you could've gave me a warning but whatever though. You showed me your true colors so that's cool. Congrats." I almost have a conniption. "Like you could've warned me about Mariah? And whoever else you're entertaining?" I blurt out. I'm not gonna sit here and allow him to make me feel bad about my life decisions for my future.

"I'm not entertaining no bitches." I cross my arms glancing at people walking around his car. He tosses his phone on my lap. "Look through it if you want cause I'm not entertaining nobody. 4554." He says his passcode. "I'm not looking through your phone Lexus." We sit in silence for a good ten minutes. I don't wanna get out of the car on bad terms or go to Atlanta with us not speaking to each other but a simple "sorry" won't do anything right now. I'm pretty sure it'll just go in one ear and out the other. "I gotta go." He starts his car and unlocks the doors basically telling me to get the heck out of his vehicle so I do, no bye or anything. I watch his car speed off down the street until I can't see it anymore.

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