Dear Beloved,

40| False Hope

R A Y N E

9 Months Earlier

"I need space from this, from you." I pull away from Lexus blocking any and everything he's trying to say out. All I see is red, I'm beyond angry and I'm hurt. "Rayne please let me explain." He grabs my arms again this time resulting in me swinging at him with my purse using all my might. I don't want to hit him but at the same time I wanna rip his head off. "Don't touch me! Just give me some space, Jesus Christ! I yell calming myself down. Even after catching him in the act of kissing his ex girlfriend I allowed him to come and sleep in the hotel room I booked. I should kick him out and kick him where the sun doesn't shine but instead I pick up my purse and I begin to hit him wherever I can. "Rayne, stop." He grabs a hold of my arms pinning them against the wall. "Let go of me you filthy cheater. I want a divo-"

"Shut up please." He cuts me of off. "When you left Vanessa started crying telling me how her dad replaced her and how he don't care about her anymore. She was upset so I told her that I was there fa her and that I was proud of her. I went ta hug her but she must've mistook tha moment for something else. She kissed me, you walked in, and I froze. Baybeh that's the truth, I wouldn't lie to you." He loosens his grip. "It's still your fault Lexus. Every time that girl calls or she's in your face you love reminding her how you're always gonna take care of her. If I was her maybe I would get a little confused too. No woman would feel compelled to kiss someone else's boyfriend if he set some damn boundaries. You give her reasons to still believe she can get to yo-"

"She's the mother of my child. What you want me to do?" If I could set fire with my eyes this hotel room would be up in flames. "Maybe not kiss her and show her so much affection. Let go of me." I squirm around trying to get out of his grip. "I give the hand kisses, the forehead kisses, and all the whispering sweet things in her ear a pass because maybe you were caught up in the moment but not this. This is your doing." He let's go of my arms calling himself getting annoyed. "I can't make nobody kiss me Rayne so I'm done talking 'bout this shit. I'm goin' ta see my son."

"Do what you have to do and you may be right but you can make somebody feel like there's an opening. That's the problem." He grabs my car keys and leaves slamming the door behind him.

Present Day

"Does it usually take this long for people to wake up after surgery?" I ask highly concerned. Today is day eight post op and he still has yet to wake up, no movement or anything. "Um you know the expression it's not brain surgery?" She asks. I nod watching her check his eyes and IV bag. "Well people say that because they're comparing whatever task you're trying to do to a very tedious and complicated surgery. Your husband here has to have time to heal and allow swelling to go down. In my professional opinion eight days after a brain surgery isn't too bad." She smiles pulling Lexus' gown up to expose his stomach. He got some cuts and bruises from the accident that they've been monitoring for me since it worried me so bad the first time I discovered them. I had just put Lenoxx down to go to sleep so I decided to give Lexus a sponge bath. The minute I took his gown off I freaked out and called half the hospital staff to see.

"Alright everything looks good. I'll come back in a few to check on him." She smiles leaving the room. I fix his blanket then I check on a sleeping baby Lexus as Ms. Maylene would say. He's adorable. I rub his little cheek falling more in love with him. Ms. Maylene's been having some health issues herself so I've had Lenoxx here with me at the hospital. The only time I leave Lexus' side is to use the bathroom, shower, go get more diapers, food, and fresh clothes for the baby. The more time I spend with this precious little baby the more I can't understand how Vanessa could abandon him. I love him already and I just met him. Sitting down in the chair I pick up my laptop and I begin to finish writing my paper for school. I had to let them know about this whole situation and that I needed some time off of school but they offered me something better and got me temporarily enrolled in their online program so I won't be so far behind by the time I go back thank God. I do a few assignments until my phone begins to ring. I get up quickly hoping it doesn't wake Lenoxx. "Yes, Hello?"

"Hi this is Hilary Crawford, Lexus' landlord. We spoke briefly earlier." She says.

"Oh yes! Thank you so much for giving me a call back. I was trying to get a little information about the eviction process and how much back rent he owes?" I wait hearing her shuffle through what sounds like papers. "He's two months behind rent and utilities. So the exact amount of rent for him is eight hundred dollars plus the utilities is one fifty so he owes back rent of nineteen hundred dollars." I write the amount down. "And how much would it be to stop the eviction process? I don't want his credit to be affected by any of this." I explain.

"He'd have to pay the court cost and filing fee which will cost three hundred dollars."

"So we'll have to pay you twenty two hundred dollars." I write down everything down she's telling me. "That's just to get him out of debt. He'll have to pay next months as well if he wants to continue to stay here."

"Well that won't be necessary. If you can meet me here at the hospital I'll be glad to write you a check and I'll have all his things out before Friday." I Give her the address to the hospital and I tell her I'll meet her in the lobby. I feel relieved that I can do this for him. He doesn't need the stress of worrying about bills after getting out of the hospital.

L E X U S

9 Months Earlier

"Hey daddy. It's your daddy." Vanessa smiles as soon as I walk in. I sit in the chair next to her bed. "Why would you kiss me? After everything Rayne's done fa you personally you pull that shit?" She looks at me confused. "Everything Rayne's done for who?" She laughs. "That lil girl ain't do nothing for me." I shake my head disagreeing. While she was pregnant Rayne would sit on the phone for hours with her, she  bought half the stuff we got now for the baby, she helped us communicate better before the baby came. She's done a lot.

"Did you come here to fight or did you come to see us?" She asks wiping drool from his mouth. "I came ta see my son and that's all it's ever and gon' be about. I apologize if I said something to make you feel like I wanted you but I'm married. Rayne's my wife now and you're gonna have ta start giving her the respect she deserves. "You married her? The bitch you cheated on me with?" I look down at the floor as she starts to cry. "You don't even really know her, she doesn't know you. You said we'd be a family. You said I wouldn't be alone." I could hear the pain in her voice confirming Rayne was right about everything. I was giving Vanessa hope this whole time and I didn't even realize it.

"I'm sorry Nessa."

"Get out of here!" She yells. The nurse comes in tryna escort me out. "I hate you!"

"Sir I'm gonna have to call security if you don't leave." The nurse says holding the phone. I sigh taking one more look at my son before I leave.

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