Dear Beloved,

33| Love

Thanks for all the positivity and support honestly you guys! I'm not 100% but I'm getting there thanks to the countless messages I receive from some of you. I love you all from the bottom of my heart ! More updates are coming just hang in there ❤️ Btw I have no idea what time of year it is in the book so it's now September and Vanessa is six months pregnant lol

V A N E S S A

~ Chapter Thirty Three ~

"Hey daddy, just wanted to stop bye and see how you're doing." I rub my arm waiting for him to open up the door some more. "Wow, you're big.." he looks at my belly as if it makes him uncomfortable. We never talk about it but I know he's disappointed that I'm pregnant by a teenager who could care less about me or my unborn child. "Can I come in?" I ask hoping he'd say yes so I could get off my feet for a few.

"..Actually." I frown seeing a little girl probably twelve or thirteen walking down the stairs with her face buried in her phone. He comes out and closes the door behind him as soon as he notices. "Vanessa now isn't a good time. Is there something you need? Do you need money?" I swallow the lump forming in my throat gripping onto the strap of my purse harder than before. Before I begin to say anything he forcefully takes cash out of his wallet, hundreds at a time. "I don't need money-who was that?" I try to look around him through the glass on the door but he blocks my way with his body. My face immediately gets hot from the anger I feel throughout my body. "You moved on that fast dad? You replaced mom and you got a new innocent daughter so she can turn out how I didn't right?" I yell allowing my emotions and hormones to take over. "Vanessa your mother and I divorced over six months ago. This is my new family now and I can't have you coming out here making a fool of yourself. Look at you." He motions to my belly. "You're 23 pregnant by an eighteen year old and you dropped out of law school. You're not even in a relationship with whoever the baby's dad is let alone married." I bite my lip nodding my head. "I didn't drop out-"

"Babe dinner's ready..Oh." A lady I'm assuming is his new girlfriend comes out and hugs him from behind. "Clarissa." She holds her hand out. "This is Vanessa but she was just leaving. Give me a second sweetheart." She smiles at me then gives my dad a kiss on the cheek before she goes back inside. "If you'd just get your life back together Vanessa I could actually bring you around and properly introduce you to them." I take a deep breath and I walk down the steps without saying anything else. I shouldn't be shocked at my dad's behavior towards me, the guy barely tells me he loves me. I thought today would be one of those days where he goes "Vanessa you know I love you right?" And I answer with an of course. I really wanted today to be one of those days, that's all I wanted.

•••

L E X U S

"Good Afternoon Lexus." Ms. Sarah casually walks in her office with a bouquet of balloons in one hand and a cake in the other that says "Happy Birthday Lexus Alsina!" I sigh heavily. "You went through my stuff?" I ask knowing she went through my wallet to see my I.D.

"How else was I supposed to figure out your birthday? You're definitely a true Virgo, I'll tell you that." She mumbles setting the cake in front of me then begins to stick nineteen candles in. "I hate cake."

"Oh come on don't be like that now. I got you a gift and everything..well three if you count there's." I frown trying to figure out what the hell she's talking about until I look up at the door. I stay frozen to my seat seeing Rayne wheeling in my grandmother. "You not gonna come give Mawmaw some lovin' boy?" Hearing her voice sends chills down my back and arms. I look at Ms. Sarah then at Rayne for confirmation this is actually real. She's actually out of the hospital awake and healthy from what I can see. "Come." Rayne waves me over. I finally get out of my seat giving her the longest hug I could. "I missed you, I love you." I kiss her cheek really not wanting to let go. She rests her hand on my face just looking at me with a smile on her face. "I love you more. We have a lot to discuss but I love you Lexus okay?" Hearing her say she loves me broke me down. I kneel down on my knees with my head in her lap while her and Ms. Sarah rub my back. I can't explain what I'm feeling if somebody asked, all I know is it's overwhelming. "Aww sugar." I wipe my eyes finally standing up giving Rayne a kiss on the lips. Both Ms. Sarah and my Grandma hum in shock. "You look beautiful." I give her a hug then a quick peck on the neck. "Y'all have plenty of time tonight. Come blow your candles out." I smirk at her and she just shakes her head embarrassed. They all sing Happy Birthday to me then I blow out my candles really not knowing what to wish for, everything I want is already in this room with me. I'm surrounded by love.

After my little unexpected "birthday party" we had to drop my grandmother back to the hospital. She has to go under more testing before they fully allow her to go home which is expected. Rayne ended up telling me she's only been up for two days which explains her not wanting me to come to the hospital the other day. I guess I would've ruined my surprise. "What you thinking about?" I shrug looking over at her driving. "Just about how dope you are. I'm really grateful fa today." She smiles. "I'm just glad we could put a smile on your face. You deserve to be celebrated." I kiss the back of her hand content with how my day turned out. We pull in the driveway of my new townhouse I'm renting out. It's a two bedroom nothing extravagant or expensive. I figured it would be just right for me and the baby whenever I'd have it. I'm really tryna show Vanessa I'm trying to be a good dad. "You spendin' tha night?" I lick my lips putting my phone on do not disturb. All these people sending me birthday wishes but I want my full attention to be on Rayne right now. "Do you want me to?"

"Yeah we could watch a movie, order some food, and just chill. C'mon boo." We both get out the car and come in my house meanwhile Rayne is acting all shy and awkward for whatever reason. I've only lived here for about a month and a half but she's definitely spent the night with me countless times. "Why you actin' like that? I do sum'?" I ask once we reach my bedroom. She smiles. "You didn't do anything. What do you wanna eat?" She changes the subject scrolling on her phone. "It don't matter. I'm bouta shower real quick." I take my shirt off and I kiss her lips a few times before I go into the bathroom. I heat the water up and I get in but not too long after I hear Rayne calling my name. "Yeah?" I turn the water off so I can hear. "Can I come in?"

"Uh lemme get my towe-" She comes in looking at me through the glass door of the shower. I don't mind but I also don't wanna make her uncomfortable. This is the first time she's ever just seen me outchea. "Boo hand me my towel."

"Can I come in Lexus?" She rubs her arm. "I mean yeah but.." I scratch my head watching her literally drop her clothes in front of me. I'm nineteen and I'm a nigga, it's taking everything in me to not sexualize this situation. She opens the glass door and steps inside with me. Rayne is literally the definition of beauty, from her curly hair down to the arches in her feet. She turns the water on and begins washing me up with soap. "You're beautiful." She says concentrating on my tattoos while she drags the towel across my body. I watch her intently feeling a different level of intimacy. She looks up at me with her big brown eyes and we kiss. Once she gets done I wash her making sure I'm careful with every touch. The whole time we stayed in the shower our eyes never separated. I feel like this was her way of showing me she trusts me. "I love you." I kiss her forehead. She smiles to herself hearing me say those words. We grab our dry towels, we dry off, and lotion up before we put our night clothes on. Even though we're not in a relationship yet this is the healthiest relationship I've ever had with anyone .

"I hope you enjoyed your birthday Lexus." I wrap my arm around her while we lay in bed. "I'll never forget it. Thank you Ray."

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Excuse Any Mistakes!

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