Dear Beloved,

18| Starting Over

R A Y N E

~Chapter Eighteen~

"Hey daddy" I smile seeing him walk up behind my vanity. I carefully wrap my hair around the wand curler while taking glances every now and then. "You feelin' okay?" Sighing he sits on the edge of my bed holding his bible in one hand.

"I still feel a little sad but other than that I'm fine. I'm ready to go back out, go to church, get a new job." I shake my head at me having to apply for jobs all because I couldn't bring myself to get out of my room. "I'm glad to hear that Rayne. My heart's been weighing heavy for you, I've been praying for you every morning and every night. I haven't had much to say about this situation because I'm just on the outside looking in but I just gotta say that I'm disappointed that through this you stopped coming to church." Setting the curling iron down I turn to look at him instead of looking at him through the mirror. The disappointed expression on his face brings my mood down immediately. "We did this Rayne. We've been through this depression together before. This isn't Pastor Morris talking this is Dad." He looks me in the eye. "When your mother passed away what did I tell you?"

"The Lord above has the power to remove all hurt, anger, loneliness and struggle." I look down realizing I'm doing exactly what I did the last time I was depressed. "Now I know heartache all too well baby but you still gotta get up on Sunday's and let him remove your pain through prayer, worship and faith. I gave you your time and your space but don't lose your mind sitting in this room thinking time will cure what's going on." He stops talking for a second to gather his thoughts while I try to gather mine as well. I knew missing church wasn't the way to go about things nor was missing out on work without giving a call at least. "While I'm talking I don't want you to think I'm fussing, I just want you to know that I'm here, the church is here, God is and will always be here. You understand what I'm saying?" He asks.

"Yes sir. I'll be at church this Sunday."

"Good." He stands up then gives me a quick kiss on the forehead. "Have fun with Lexus tonight." Giving off a confused look he smiles slightly. "Lexus and I have our talks at bible study. He's a good kid, rough around the edges, needs some guidance, but he's a good kid." He repeats like he's reminiscing about one of there conversations. Mentally rolling my eyes I pick up the wand curler again. "Yeah." Is all I say. I bet he wouldn't think he's such a "good kid" if he heard half the things he's said to me. 

"So is this a date? I couldn't get much out of him at bible study." He laughs. "It's not a date. I wouldn't go out on a date with someone like him." I mumble the last part. Nodding he checks his watch. "About what time is he supposed to be here?"

Looking at my phone I see a text from him saying he just left his house twenty minutes ago and that it's a quarter til nine. "In a few actually. I have to finish getting ready." Without further explaining he walks out leaving me to finish styling my hair. I throw on a outfit not putting much thought into it and I skip out on putting any makeup on since it's just Lexus. I quickly put on my shoes hearing the doorbell ring and Sasha's little barks. "Coming." I shout getting down the stairs. I swing the door open to get met with Lexus holding two dozen yellow long stemmed roses with a gold bow neatly wrapped around them.

"Hey."

"Hey." We stand in the doorway while I look at the flowers then up at him. "Uh these are for you." Slowly taking them I awkwardly admire how beautiful they are then I set them on the table nearby. "Thanks." I step out and I close the door behind me.

"Did you wanna go anywhere specific?" Shrugging as if he can see me while we walk to the car I just now remember him telling me I could've picked where we went. He opens the door to his blacked out Camero surprising me already. Before he closes the door he makes sure I'm all buckled up then jogs to the drivers side. "So?" He breaths out.