Beloved: Lovable, yet in a non sexual way. Able to love one without purpose of intercourse. Means special in a way that is beyond that of lust, but means the purest of love.
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"I'm supposed ta carry you over or through tha threshold ...whatever it is I'm supposed to carry you."
"Stoppp there's people." She laughs. "Fuck them people I'm tryna carry my wife ta bed." I mumble kissing her lips. Just as she begins to kiss me back I pick her up causing her to squeal in excitement. "Oh my gosh." She covers her face giggling up a storm. I get to the honeymoon suit and I unlock the door with the room key then I put the little do not disturb thing on the door. "I love you." I kick the door closed with my foot and I bring her all the way to the bed as promised. "Say it again." She smiles pulling me on top of her. "I love you Mrs. Alsina." She kisses me slowly unbuttoning my shirt. I don't expect to have sex tonight I honestly just wanna love on her and just be us without the pressure of the whole wedding night thing especially since none of this was exactly planned.
"C'mon." I stand up trying to get her to come to the bathroom with me. I had the staff set up rose pedals, candles, strawberries, whip cream, chocolate, and a nice bubble bath with a chilled bottle of champagne. I knew our wedding day wasn't all that she dreamed of so I wanted tonight to have some type of thought and effort put into it. I want her to know she means more to me than a courthouse wedding. "Oh my god." Her mouth hangs open seeing the setup. I get down on one knee while she's distracted and I pull out the diamond ring I was able to purchase right before the wedding. She finally turns around instantly covering her mouth. "Lexus." Her eyes tear up seeing the ring. "We didn't get ta say any personal vows so I love you Rayne and I know that God has ordained this love. Because of this I desire ta be your husband. Together we will be vessels for his service in accordance with his plan, so that in all areas of our life Christ will have the pre-eminence. Through tha pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to love, guide, and protect you as Christ does his Church, and as long as we both are alive. According to Ephesians 5 and with his enabling power, I promise to endeavor to show to you tha same kind of love as Christ showed the Church, and to love you as a part of myself because in his sight we shall be one. I Lexus Alsina promise to love you." I slip the ring on then I stand to my feet wiping the tears from her face. She looks at the ring in awe and I couldn't be any happier in this moment.
"Babe.." She feeds me a strawberry covered in chocolate. I lick the juice off my lips allowing her to eat the other half. "Hm?" I run my fingertips up then down her leg enjoying the moment. "Look at this rock." She smiles holding her hand up high. I laugh at her doing the lil Beyoncé dance. "Mhmm.." I leave kisses on her shoulder and neck while we sit in the bath. "You tired?" She asks sounding a type of way. "Nah you?"
"Nope." She plays with the bubbles. "What's wrong boo?" I sigh thinking I forgot something. "I don't wanna say.." She shrugs biting the corner of her lip. I bend my head a little to see her face. "Is it something wrong with tha ring?" I ask holding her hand up to inspect it. She turns around so that we're face to face. "There's nothing wrong with the ring. It's perfect." She looks me in the eyes. "Okay so what's wrong? You havin' second thoughts?"
"No second thoughts. Just thoughts of us in the bed..naked." I look at her crazy. She can sleep free if she want to but I gotta have at least some draws on, you never know what could happen. "Boo sleep however you want. Ion care." I mumble drying off my hands. I grab my blunt I pre-rolled then light it. "Sweaty..sticky.." The light bulb in my head goes off when she starts kissing me how she does when she's drunk. I laugh pulling away from her. "Boo I ain't bring no condoms or nothin'. I didn't know.." I blow smoke out away from her. "Well what did you think we were gonna do? Braid each other's hair?" I look at her through hooded eyes not used to her talking to me like this. "It's our wedding night." She states the obvious before standing up and grabbing one of the complimentary white robes. I watch her walk out of the bathroom until I can't see her anymore. I lick my lips getting out the tub to follow her. I wrap a towel around my waist ready to risk it all but I come out the bathroom seeing her tapping away in my phone.
"Why you in my phone?"
"Vanessa thinks the baby is coming."
Present Day
R A Y N E
"You got some nerve showin' up here." Ms. Maylene says angrily. "You don't get to show up here to see Lexus nor Lenoxx." I look between the two of them not saying a word. The last time I saw Vanessa wasn't a good memory so I rather stay my distance. "Apparently Lexus disagrees. I'm still his emergency contact and he's not well so I'm taking my son." She tried to reach for Lenoxx but I back up. Obviously there's bad blood between her and just about everyone. "Bitch give me my son." I open my mouth to say something but Ms. Maylene holds her hand up stopping me. "You not gonna come in here and get gutter. You think being an emergency contact means something lil girl? Lexus would rather watch paint dry before he goes back to a sorry woman and mother like you. You left him with a baby you carried in your womb for nine months and didn't think one thing about it. Now I don't know what your motive is for coming back but it sure as hell ain't for my grandson or my great grand baby. He's much happier without his rapist lingering around in his life. If you not coming correct with some pampers or a check I suggest you bounce Miss thang." People around begin to look as soon as they hear the R- word. Vanessa takes out a checkbook then stops. "Who do I make it out to?"
"His wife. Rayne Alsina." My eyes get big. Ms. Maylene knows, she knows about our marriage. Vanessa gives me one of the dirtiest looks I've ever gotten. "How does it feel being his second option?" I keep quiet. I don't know if the memory or the remark stings worse.
9 Months Earlier
As soon as Lexus got the news his son was about to come into this world he booked the next flight out to New Orleans. In the excitement of it all he forgot to book me a flight as well so I ended up driving on what was supposed to be our wedding night. By the time I got there Vanessa was fully dilated and now she's currently pushing. "He's almost here Nessa." He smiles holding her hand. I sit in the corner watching in amazement, women really can do anything. "I can't." She cries while sweating up a storm. "I can't do this alone." Lexus kisses the back of her hand. "You not alone, I'm here withchu' I gotchu'." I clear my throat seeing him kiss her forehead but nobody even notices. The nurse coaches her to push a few more time then the room fills with the precious cries of a baby. I smile glad I'm able to witness such beauty.
"I did it." She cries watching Lexus cut the umbilical cord. My phone rings so I step out taking the call from my dad. Reality hits as soon as I answer the phone. I've been on such a high for the past fourty eight hours the thought of telling my father I went and married Lexus for no other reason besides me being in love with him hasn't processed or crossed my mind until now. "Hey daddy Vanessa just had the baby so I can't talk long."
"Alright sweetie, try to get some pictures. Is he cute?" He asks curiously. "He just came out of his mother two seconds ago but I'm sure he's a real cutie, look at his parents."
"I'm sure he is. Don't forget the pictures!" I laugh reassuring him I won't forget. I finish up talking to my dad on the way to my car to get the vase of celebratory flowers I got for Vanessa. On the way back I kinda begin to feel terrible for not saying anything to my dad about my wedding until I glance down at my ring shining bright. I smile to myself. "I'm freaking married." I mumble to myself on the elevator. I grin all the way to the room feeling like I'm walking on clouds until I open the door. All I see is Lexus kissing Vanessa on the lips while she holds the baby. He pulls away immediately. "Rayne it's not what it looks like. Please baybeh-" I set the flowers on the table next to the door and I make a break for it. By the time I make it to my car I realize I'm having a full blown panic attack. I gasp for air taking both the rings off while I cry like a baby. What did I just do?
