Beloved: Lovable, yet in a non sexual way. Able to love one without purpose of intercourse. Means special in a way that is beyond that of lust, but means the purest of love.
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L E X U S
~ Chapter Thirty Two ~
"Boo I'm sorry." I follow her into her room. I quickly realized what I said was beyond stupid and mean so I followed Rayne all the way to her house. "You're welcome." She throws a envelope at me biting down on her lip, I can tell I hurt her feelings. I tear it open revealing a card reading:
Congratulations on the unexpected miracle. From your extended family (Rayne & Mr. Morris) we wish you all the best with your new little one. If and when you need a helping hand you can call on us, we'll be more than happy to babysit lol. We love you and hope you enjoy the new things fatherhood will bring you.
Here's a token of our love.
I see four visa gift cards with five hundred dollars on each of them. "Rayne..I cant take this." I shake my head making sure I'm seeing right. "Thank you but-"
"You keep two and mail two to Vanessa. I would've did it but I don't know her address." She explains standing in front of her closet. "I have a card for her also.."
"C'mere." I sigh. She walks over to me and I just embrace her. Ion deserve nobody like Rayne and I know it. She's too sweet. "I'm beyond grateful, ion know what ta say." She hugs me back. "I know."
"And I'm sorry."
"I know." She looks down but I make her look back up at me. "I'm serious, I was out of line. I want you ta know I mean what I'm sayin'." I peck her lips. "It's fine, really. I overstepped. It's not my business, planning for the baby is something you should discuss with Vanessa. It probably makes you feel weird and I understand that now." She smiles awkwardly letting me know she is feeling a type of way just as I suspected. "Be honest. You're uncomfortable with this baby thing?"
"No, no I'm happy for you, I love babies."
"You can be happy fa me, love babies and it still bother you. This is something we needa discuss if we're gonna keep doin' this." I motion between the two of us. She sighs sitting on the bed so I do the same setting the envelope and the card down. "You about to have a baby doesn't bother me... Me liking you way more than I should bothers me and me not knowing if you actually like me for me or just the idea of me bothers me. She sighs. "Sometimes I think I like you more than you like me." I frown trying to figure out what would make her say this but I stop realizing it's just her. Rayne overthinks every single thing and it could get annoying but usually I'm able to catch it and stop her from getting inside her own head but I didn't even know she was feeling like this.
"Well fa starters I do like you fa you obviously. I tell you all tha time how I like how caring and sweet you are. You're smart, beautiful, corny, and awkward but I like it." I shrug. "I like everything about you, I like how you're one of the strongest women I know, I like your mental, your soul... I like that you like me flaws and all because I got a lot of 'em." I say with ease meaning every word. I never been too good expressing myself or my feelings but with Rayne it's easy. My heart skips for her and it's never done that before, this is really new for me. "Stop." She mumbles looking elsewhere but I continue to look at her anyways. "I really fuck witchu Rayne." I grab her face taking my time to actually look at her no matter how nervous I can tell she's getting.
"Okay.."
"Okay?" I bring her face closer taking her jacket off. Pulling me down on top of her she laughs holding my face. "I'm happy you said that.."
"You happy I said that?" I peck her lips then her neck. "Lexus." She laughs loudly as I get between her legs sucking on her neck until we both hear a car door slam outside. "Fuck." I sigh getting off of her knowing it's her dad.
"It's okay.." She rubs my arm. Since the whole Arizona thing Mr. Morris doesn't fuck with me like that especially because his daughter showed up with hickeys on her neck and I know he's gonna wanna talk about me having a baby. I would jump out of the window right now just to avoid both of them conversations like I've been doing for a while but I can't dodge it now. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." She sits up.
"It ain't just that boo. I'a be back if your dad don't kick me out." I mumble deciding to just meet him downstairs and be a man about the situation. "Oh." He looks at me sitting down on the couch. "How you doin' Mr. Morris?" I rub my hands together getting nervous. "Good and you?"
"I'm livin, I cant ask fa more." The room gets real silent. He clears his throat. "I've been meaning to speak to you about a few things." Here we go. I sit on the recliner across from him. "Okay?"
"You took my daughter on vacation without talking to me first like we didn't used to talk daily and when she came back her neck was just about full with hickeys." He stares at me. "Then I hear from Rayne you have a child on the way with another girl. Do you see where I'm going with this?" He asks in a way I feel like he doesn't really want me to answer. "You And Rayne are grown adults but I will not have you spreading your seed anywhere near my daughter. I don't know what your parents taught you but I taught my daughter that premarital sex isn't an option. I like you but what you will not do is come in my daughter's life and corrupt her beliefs and values." I frown trying to hold my tongue. "She's a child of God and I want it to stay that way unless you plan on putting a ring on her finger and I figure you're not because you have some girl knocked up."
"Hol' up." I laugh. "First of all I'm sorry about the hickeys, ion have an explanation fa that." I say honestly. "But I took her on that trip because she told me she wanted to go. I like and I care about Rayne very much and I would never disrespect her values or her beliefs because she's shared that with me along with a lot of other things you should probably be worried about instead of worrying about who I got "knocked up". My last situation wasn't tha healthiest and I was never in love with her but I love my baby's mother and our child was made out of love on accident. I know I wasn't married, I wasn't even in ah exclusive relationship with her but I wasn't just out here sleeping around Mr. Morris. I slipped up and I'm still learning but I'm happy about my baby so you can't shame me or make me feel less than for that. I let somebody get in my head before and I made a mistake imma regret forever." I sigh thinking about the abortion I made Vanessa get a while back. "The only person's opinion I care about supports me and genuinely likes me for who I am even when I'm being a shitty person. I'm sorry your view on me changed over all of this but I hope one day you'll see me in ah good light again because I honestly have her best interest at heart, I love her and I'm even with her yet." I admit for the first time to myself out loud. I stare at the floor thinking about what just came out of my mouth. I mean it's the truth but I wasn't ready for that to just come out my mouth especially not to her dad. The "love" word is heavy plus Rayne ain't at a spot in her life to deal with another serious relationship.
"Wow." Mr. Morris sits back. "You love my daughter?" I shrug. "Ta be honest sir that's tha first time I ever said that out loud or in my head." I rub my face only to look up seeing Rayne on the stairs with her mouth hanging open.
