Dear Beloved,

22| You're Okay?

L E X U S

~ Chapter Twenty Two ~

"Shit." I mumble. The girl rides me slowly while Vanessa sucks and licks on my neck. Once she got in town we had a long day of arguing then we went out to the club, had a few drinks, and now here we are having a threesome with some lightskin stripper chick. I watch the two of them kiss through hooded eyes while the girl speeds up. She makes eye contact with me then bites her lip. I hold onto her waist feeling myself about to bust. She immediately stops and starts giving me head causing me to lose it. "Damn." I breath heavily. The girl takes it like a whole G then starts to kiss on Vanessa before she goes down on her. I lay in the bed for a second seeing my phone has five missed calls from Rayne.

I look between my phone and Vanessa before I send her a text asking what's wrong. "Lexussss." She moans. Her body starts shaking and I just watch still feeling tired from this girl fucking the shit outta me. Her mouth hangs open and her back arches while she guides the girl head where she wants it. This threesome might've just did something for me, I'm 'bout ready to wife shawty. Still no reply I leave the room grabbing a towel quickly wrapping it around my waist. I press on Rayne's contact but I get no answer so I call her again.

"Why tha fuck you not answering?" I ask getting mad.

"I-I tried calling you. My car stopped in the middle of the road and nobody's picking up." Looking back into the bedroom I mentally curse. "Where's your dad? Where you at?"

"He's at the church lockdown, his phone must be off or something but I don't wanna call him. I've been drinking." I sigh loudly. "I'm not asking you to come get me- just nevermind." She says sounding irritated. "So you gonna stay stranded outside?" I ask

"Yes I will since you're having an attitude. I'll call my dad." She hangs up. Hopping in the shower I wash off quickly and I change so I can go get this girl. Spraying some cologne on I pick my car keys up not bothering to tell them I'm leaving. I drive around for a good half an hour before I spot Rayne's lil yellow car on the side of the road. Pulling up behind her I keep my headlights on so I can see. "Get out tha car." She turns her car off getting out like I told her. Once she gets out she walks to my car and sits in the passenger seat while I look under the hood of her car not seeing anything wrong with it I close it and I lock her car up until the morning.

"Don't fuckin' hang up on me again." I say once I get in my car. "Don't curse at me Lexus."

"I'a curse at who ever I wanna curse at. I'm a grown ass man. You sittin out here in tha fuckin' hood drunk dressed in thot clothes and you hanging up on me acting like a child so imma talk to you like one. If I tell you ta do something just do it." She looks out the window tryna ignore what I'm saying. "Anything could've happened to your stupid ass cause you don't wanna tell me where you at. Fuck you out here for anyways?"

She sniffs. "I was driving home. I don't need you to yell at me because I called you multiple times and you didn't answer."

"Shut up talkin' to me." I start the car but she opens the door. "I told you to stop disrespecting me. Like I said, stop cursing at me or you can just leave. I can find someone else to gladly pick me up." Reaching over I close the door and I lock it from my side. "Put your seatbelt on please." She puts it on then continues to look out the window. I drive her home and I park in front of the garage. We both get out and I stand behind her allowing her to open the door. "Rayne." I call her name but she continues to walk upstairs like she ain't hear me. "I know you hear me talkin' to you." I follow her in her bedroom. Grabbing her arm she jerks away from me. "Don't."

"What is tha issue?"

"Seriously?" She steps out of her high heels and starts taking her earrings off in the mirror. Turning around she tries to walk past me to get in her closet but I block her. "Moveeeee."

"Or what? You can't even talk like an adult, I see why your ass is single right now." Closing her eyes she taps her foot on the ground. "Jesus." She looks up at the ceiling. "I just want you out. Get outtt, get out of my life."

"You want me out your life Rayne?" I ask getting pissed off all over again. Shrugging her shoulders I nod getting out her life as she requested. "Wait I-I'm sorry. I don't mean that." She trips trying to grab my arm. "Don't leave. My dad's gonna kill me." She slurs. Wrapping her arms around my neck she smiles. " We fight, but we're still bff's" unexpectedly she gives me a kiss on the lips then grabs my face to deepen it. I let her kiss on me until her hand goes under my shirt. "Uh uh you drunk." I mumble walking her over to her bed. I wipe the lipgloss off my lips once I lay her down. "I know what I'm doing, I'm not that drunk. I like your kisses." She says as I pull the covers over her. "Lay down with me. I'm sorry." She pouts patting the spot behind her so I sit at least until she falls asleep.

R A Y NE

Waking up I look up to see a sleeping Lexus with his shirt off and his arms wrapped around my waist and the other gently laying on my thigh. I slowly move my head off his chest in attempt to not wake him but his eyes flutter open causing for a big ball of awkwardness. "Mornin." He mumbles not moving a muscle. "You wanna talk 'bout last night or nah?" I sit up remembering most of last night, I wasn't drunk but I was very tipsy. "Please don't tell my dad."

"If I tell him I would have to tell him I spent tha night with you so you safe but wassup talk ta me. I never seen you act like that before."

"I can't tell you. I'm not ready to talk about it." Rubbing his eyes he looks at the time. "I'm here whenever you ready. Next time you plan on drinking please call me or one of your girlfriends." He taps my leg to make sure I'm listening so I nod. "Ight." He sighs. "I ain't gon' fuss at you because I did that last night." He smirks closing his eyes. "You told me a secret too." My heart races not remembering telling him a secret.

"What?" Reopening his eyes he licks his lips. "You said you like my kisses. You'n remember that?" Shaking my head no embarrassed I sigh. "Sorry." He sits up and puts his shirt on then his shoes. Once he grabs his phone he makes a phone call then comes over to me grabbing me by my chin. "Imma come back and check on you." He whispers taking the phone away from his face then gives me a kiss on the cheek. Rubbing the side of my arm I watch him leave. I lean my head against the headboard and my head starts to heart worse than what it was and not from this hangover neither.

I go back to sleep for a couple of hours then I take a long shower washing repeatedly. Crying from frustration I dry off and I end up getting back in bed. I stare at the ceiling remembering around this time last year. I was an emotional wreck and I still kinda am but at least I'm able to wake up happy some days, that's enough to thank God a thousand times for. I'm grateful everyday I don't have a suicidal thought or feeling of sadness but every year around this time my progress goes down the drain and I cry because I'm frustrated, I cry because I work so hard all year, I cry because I feel like I'm alone even though I know I'm not. It's a never ending cycle nobody around me seems to understand.

I shut my eyes wrapping my arms around myself. "Mommy I need you." I cry praying to just hear her voice. "Please God." Praying to keep the negativity away I feel as if there's something physically sitting on my chest. Grabbing my phone I hyperventilate calling the only person that understands me. "Daddy I need you, I'm scared."

"Stay on the phone sweetie. Tell me what's wrong" I explain to him how I'm feeling and he prays for me while he drives back home. "I'm here baby, I'm coming." Just as he says those words I begin to cry like I'm having a mental breakdown. He comes into my room and cradles me. "Daddy's got you, it's okay. You're okay."

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