Beloved: Lovable, yet in a non sexual way. Able to love one without purpose of intercourse. Means special in a way that is beyond that of lust, but means the purest of love.
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I sway side to side hearing the percussionist play the keys beautifully. I look around the small church smiling at the sight of my fellow church members rejoicing. Everybody in this room I consider to be family.
Four years ago at the age of fifteen my mother passed away due to a car accident and it crushed me when I got the news. When she died it felt like I did too. I just remember my life going in a downward spiral after that. Being a preacher's kid wasn't easy because although my mother passed away everybody in the church had me under one big magnify glass so I started to be rebellious. I started to hangout with the wrong group of kids, I stopped attending church, I started to drink alcohol, and at one point I started to smoke marijuana so I can feel numb.
Almost a year past and everybody at the church started to talk like most church's your business gets spread easily. I never found out who told who but somehow it got back to my mother's sister, my aunt that I was acting out and "ruining my mother's name." I was living with her at the time since my stepdad had to find a big enough house for the both of us. Not too long after that one day I came home from school and she beat me.
She fought me as if I was nothing to her. I just remember lying there taking it because I honestly didn't wanna be on earth without my mother. I felt as if I deserved it. After the beating she left me in the house and I attempted suicide.
I asked my father, mother, God, and the church to forgive me before I slit both my wrists.
I felt so low and I felt lost when I woke up in the hospital. Seeing that most of the church came and supported me showed me that I was loved.
It showed me that I wasn't alone, I had a family in Lilian's Bapist. After I recovered from my self inflicted injuries I started to go to church again. Everybody welcomed me back with open arms of course and ever since then I've been trying my best to keep my mother's name and church in tact.
I never got the "calling" to be a pastor so I made the decision to let my stepdad take over in that area. Even though they were never married I always felt like he was my father in a way. My dad and my mom never had a romantic relationship, they were just childhood friends that grew up together. When my mom got pregnant with me and my biological dad pulled a Casper the ghost he stepped in promising to take me in as if I was his own and since then he's never left my side. He was honestly a gift sent from heaven.
"It was good to see you at church Rayne. Your father had a lovely word" I nod agreeing.
"Thank you Mrs. Williams, God bless" we hug and another person comes up but this time it's people I don't recognize. It's a older woman and I believe her grandson.
"Hello suga' I'm Maylenne and this is Lexus, this is our first time here, we're new to the area" I immediately stand up and I smooth the front of my blazer down. "This church reminds me of back home. Don't it Lexus?" she smiles looking over at her grandson. He gives her a simple head nod not giving either of us eye contact.
