Dear Beloved,

38| I do

R A Y N E

"What happened? You're not telling me anything." Tears roll down my face as I yell at a nurse attempting to tell me Lexus needs some type of surgery. It's as if I couldn't hear her because all I could do was yell and cry. "I'm his wife, please." I whisper praying to God Lexus doesn't die on me. I wouldn't be able to handle another death especially not his. There's so much that I need to tell him like the fact that I'm sorry for leaving him then ignoring him as if he didn't exist. "Ma'am I know you're hurting but if we don't get your husband into surgery soon we might lose him." She explains holding the clipboard in her hand. I grab it signing all the consent forms they need. "Please don't let him die." I grab her arm before she walks off. She gives me that look of sympathy I know so well. "You should call some family or friends to come sit with you. We'll send someone out when the surgery's done." She walks out of the waiting area leaving me to cry and pray for hours until I build up the courage to call Ms. Maylene. Legally I'm his wife but I know I'm probably the last person he wants to see. Wiping my face I walk outside to get some fresh air. I call his grandmother immediately letting her know what's going on.

"Just pray for him baby, Lexus doesn't want you cryin' yourself sick over him. That boy is strong and he's gonna come out of surgery God willing." I nod silently crying. "I'm here with baby Lexus if you wanna come get us. You shouldn't be there by yourself sugar."

"Can I send an Uber? I don't wanna leave him."

"Whatever you're comfortable with. Let me pack a diaper bag, we'll be ready in ten sweetheart." Sighing I quickly pay for an Uber. "Thank you. They'll be to your house shortly. Text me as soon as you get in the car." We say our goodbyes and as soon as we hang up I could feel my chest caving in. I sit on the sidewalk trying to calm myself down. I would call my dad but he'll just ask too many questions. I know what I'm feeling right now is a combination between guilt and me still being in love with him. Lexus is the love of my life.

9 Months Earlier

"I'm nervous." I whisper holding both of Lexus' hands. He squeezes them gently then kisses the back of my right hand. I've always thought I would get married in a church with my family and friends there to support me along with my dad walking me down the aisle but here I am at the courthouse about to tie the knot. "Rayne Morris do you take Lexus Alsina as your lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?" I feel my heart beating a hundred miles per hour. "I do." Tears fall as Lexus places the ring he bought around my finger. "I love you." He bites down on his lip then smiles at me. "I love you." I smile feeling nothing but happiness. "Lexus Alsina do you take Rayne Morris as your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and cherish until death do you part?"

"I do."

Present Day

"Anything?" I snap out of my daze seeing Ms. Maylene holding Lenoxx in front of me. "No ma'am. It's nice to see you." I stand so she can sit down. "Oh no you sit. I'm going to the cafeteria, you need to eat." She sets his car seat down next to me. I stare at Lenoxx seeing the spitting image of Lexus look back at me. His little lips curl up into a smile as he makes spit bubbles. "Pick him up, he don't bite." I look up at her then the baby growing uncomfortable but I take him out of the car seat anyways. "There you go. Now support his neck." She smiles handing me his pacifier. "Lexus would love this. His two favorite people. I'm goin' to the cafeteria now." I nod not being able to take my eyes off Lenoxx, he's beautiful.

A few minutes go by of me waiting until a doctor and a nurse come up to me. I begin to think the worse now regretting the fact that I didn't call my dad. "Dr. Brookes; head of neuro. We spoke on the phone." He shakes my hand. "Mrs. Alsina your husband suffered from a small brain bleed in his frontal lobe along with some swelling so we had to go in surgically as you know. Everything went smoothly, they're closing him up as we speak and then we're going to get him admitted into the ICU for around the clock care. It could take him minutes, hours, or even days to wake up from the surgery. It's all up to him at this point." I take a deep breath feeling as if I can breath again. "Will I be able to see him?" He smiles. "Of course. Let us get him situated and we'll come right down to get you."

"Thank you so much." I sit back down in my chair relieved. I hold Lenoxx tight thanking God we didn't lose him. Ms. Maylene comes back holding a cup of coffee and some snacks from the vending machine. "You're a natural." She smiles handing me the coffee. "Lexus is okay. He's being admitted into th-" I stop mid sentence. My eyes zero in on the entrance as if I'm seeing a ghost. "What's wrong?" She asks looking around confused until she sees it too.

"Vanessa?" We say in unison.

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