Dear Beloved,

13| Fooled Me Twice

R A Y N E

~ Chapter Thirteen ~

I sit still in the grass watching the sunset beside Lexus silently watching the still water in the lake. The wind lightly blows as we both take in the view, neither of us has decided to talk due to the circumstances. I can understand him not jumping the gun to share his personal problems, heck I wouldn't if I were in his position. "Heard you was having problems with ya' nigga." He throws a pebble into the water.

"Not problems, just him being aggravated with me I suppose. I can be hard to deal with sometimes." Sighing I start to think about all the times Jacob's gotten frustrated with me. He's always had little patience for me I guess.

"They have her on a breathing tube." Lexus digs in his pocket taking out a dime bag with weed inside of it. I side eye him as I watch him contruct a blunt right in front of me. "Been crying like ah lil bitch all day man." Lighting the blunt he inhales then exhales the smoke. "Jacob wants to get married and have kids. I'm only nineteen but it's like he doesn't understand. Why doesn't he understand that we're just too young a-and maybe I don't want kids...ever. It's like everything goes in one ear and out the other." my eyebrows wrinkle as my thoughts come out of my mouth like a bad case of vomit. "He's so selfish when he doesn't have the right to be. Do you know he's over nine hundred miles away in Augusta telling me what I should and should not do with MY womb!?" I turn to Lexus only for me to discover his attention is already on me. "Then he has the nerve to be fake supportive of my goals and dreams, I know he's not letting go that easy." I mumble feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me.

"I-I'm sorry, I took you here so you can vent and somehow I make this about me. Sometimes I really just need someone to grab me by the shoulders, shake me, and say "Rayne shut up...." please tell me to shut up." His lips turn up into a smirk daring to just smile. "I didn't come here ta talk."

"Exactly what did you come here for? We're in the middle of nowhere." I gesture for him to look around. "Let your anger out, scream, cry, talk to me, punch a tree or something. You're starting to scare me for God's sake." Him just silently sitting here is kinda weirding me out especially after finding him in such a bad state. I don't want him to go full on Lifetime killer on me when there's a lot of other options he can work with. "I came here to hear you go on about your day to get my mind off of my shitty life. I didn't come here ta share my life story with you nor will I ever, you just sit here and annoy me please so ion off myself when I get home ight? This is how "this" is gonna go, tha sooner you learn that tha better." Caught off guard I open then close my mouth probably a dozen times attempting to form a sentence.

"Lexus... I- you've thought about suicide?"

"All the time."

"It doesn't help. It only makes things worse especially if it doesn't work." Blowing smoke out of his nose he stops to look at me so I show him both of my wrists. "I don't see everything through rose tinted glasses, I know that's what you think of me but we're one in the same. I wasn't dealt the best hand of cards either, we just choose to live our lives differently."

He laughs. "So a spoiled Pk slits her wrists. What? Daddy ain't buy you some new dresses and heels? Get the fuck outta here with that. Me and you could never be tha same." Biting down on my lip until I feel numbness I hold back my tears. Once again I get played for a fool trying to help him. Standing up I dust the back of my jeans so I can go home, I refuse to let him belittle me a third time. Midway to my car I stop to turn to him. "You know you talk about having such a bad life maybe something good will happen to you the day you stop being such an ugly person inside. It's literally free to have some fucking compassion towards others, stop acting like the worlds happening to solely you."

"So you just gonna leave me out here?" He stands up looking plain stupid. "Yeah. My dad just called and said he couldn't buy me a dress, I have to go kill myself." Without a single droplet of salty water falling from my eyes I get in my car leaving him in the middle of nowhere.

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Just for the people who don't understand sarcasm when Rayne said her dad called and said he couldn't buy her a dress so she has to go home to kill herself she was being sarcastic!

Excuse Any Mistakes! ❤️

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