Beloved: Lovable, yet in a non sexual way. Able to love one without purpose of intercourse. Means special in a way that is beyond that of lust, but means the purest of love.
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L E X U S
~ Chapter Nineteen ~
Holding the phone I listen to Vanessa talk about work for almost forty minutes while I try to figure out if I should tell her about kissing Rayne. I know she's just gonna be pissed off because she's gonna feel like I been "cheating" on her this whole time when that's not the case. When I kissed Rayne it felt right, nothing more nothing less. "Can you believe that? So I told her to fuck off. We're both grown women, she doesn't get to talk to me like I'm a child." She rants. Brushing my hair over with my hand I sigh. "Nessa I gotta tell you something."
"If it's bad news can it wait? I need something positive right now." Licking my lips I lean further into the couch. "You remember how I was pissed off at this girl the other day?" I ask disregarding what she said. I know she would want to know if something happened between me and another girl just like I would wanna know if she's messing with another nigga, it's out of respect. Sighing she says "Yeah. What about that?"
"I took tha girl out to eat and I kissed her." She holds the phone not saying anything, you could hear a pin drop. "Hello?"
"So you've been seeing this girl for how long?" Scrunching up my face I shake my head. "We haven't been "seeing" each other. It's just something that happened and I wanted ta let you know." She sighs loudly in the phone I guess tryna calm herself down. "Have you had sex with her?"
"What? Nah, it's nothin' like that."
"Are you gonna have sex with her?" She asks getting louder. "Why you askin' me that? You needa chill." I already knew this was how this was gonna go, a bunch of questions and accusations but I brought it on myself. "I have the right to know who you're fuckin' Lexus! I'm not tryna catch nothin' that's why I'm asking."
"You know I'm not touchin' that girl so stop. It was just a lil kiss. Why you gotta escalate shit all tha time?" I say trying to get her to come back down to my level. "You the only girl I'm tryna fuck." I flirt trying to lighten the mood. She stays silent. "Baby?"
"What Lexus?"
"Come out here for a couple days." She scoffs. "I'm not flying out to see you just so you can lie in my face, no thanks." Shrugging my shoulders not caring about her lil attitude I say okay causing all hell to break loose. She goes off on me for a good ten minutes and I let her until she starts talking reckless. "And since everything's okay imma go fuck my ex then. Okay!?"
"Ight go be a hoe then bye."
"Fuck you." She yells. "I had tha decency ta tell you I kissed someone else and it's fuck me? Only reason I told your stupid ass is out of tha love and respect I got for you but it's fuck me? Because I'm being honest?" I wait but she doesn't say anything. "Just know if you fuck that nigga you can forget about it ever being ah us, period." She hangs the phone up on me so I toss my phone to the side deciding to light up. You would think somebody would appreciate you being honest but I guess not, girls would rather you lie to them apparently. "Ole stupid ass." I mumble walking out to the porch. Vanessa causes me more stress than a little bit. I smoke my blunt down to the bud thinking about all the shit going wrong in my life and how I could fix it. I'm eighteen with the world weighing heavy on my shoulders, all I need is a little help.
"Wassup Lexus." Troy, a known drug dealer slowly rides past my house. "When you tryna work for me?" He asks me like he does every time I see this nigga. Laughing I shake my head. "You know I ain't tryna get into that man." Shrugging he flashes me a stack of money thinking it's gonna change my mind. "Whenever you ready, I gotchu." I nod. "Good lookin' out but I'm good." Rolling his window back up he drives off blasting music. I go back in the house making sure to lock my shit because niggas be stealing. Slowly walking over to the couch I plop down picking up my phone.
From: 218-567-7500 Come scoop me. I'm tired of Calvins shit 🤦🏽♂️ Laughing I get my car keys since ion have nothing else to do. I drive down the street and I wait until this fool comes outside. "My nigga." Royce sighs getting in the passenger seat. "Imma fuck that old nigga up one day."
"Only reason y'all get into it is because you stay eating on tha job. Pack a lunch or some shit." I shrug trying to find a solution. "It wasn't even that though. You got some on you?" He asks patting his pockets. "Nah I jus' smoked that shit. Og trippin." I look out in the street eyes low. "I told her I kissed somebody else and she got big mad." Royce laughs eventually finding half a blunt in his pocket. "Bingo." He mumbles lighting it up. "My baby moms kicked me out tha house for going to the strip club so.."
"You sayin' that like you didn't get some neck that same night from a stripper." I laugh. "All I did was kiss someone and Og and I ain't even together like that. We just fuckin." He blows smoke out then points his finger at me. "Once you fuck her you her boyfriend dawg."
"Shiddd." I shake my head. Royce puts the blunt out once he sees Calvin coming up to my car. I put the windows down letting the smoke out. "I know y'all two niggas ain't smoking on my property." I hold my hands up. "I ain't high." I mumble. "You getcho lyin ass off my property and you get back in and do some damn work if gon' be on my clock." He points. Tucking my lips in so I don't laugh Royce gets out the car. "You out here high as a kite talkin' bout you not high." He fusses walking back in the store with Royce behind him. Starting my car up I start driving home until I see a bottle of prescription pills on the floor of my car. Frowning I pick them up carefully reading the label Prozoc. Seeing Rayne's name on the bottle I call her phone and she answers on the second ring. "Hello?"
"Hey you at your house right now?" I ask so I could drop the pills off to her. "Not at the moment. I'm at the store, why?" Starting my car up I put the pills in my glove box. "I think you uh dropped your prescription in my car the other night. You want me ta drop em by you." She sighs into the phone. "Oh my God I've been looking all over for them. Can you please? I'll send you my location." She says in a rushed tone. Putting the phone on speaker I look up what the pills are for and I see it can treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, bulimia, and panic disorders. Not surprised I look at the address she gave me knowing exactly where she's at. "Ight I'll pull up in fifteen minutes." We end the call so I start driving in her direction. I get to the store after a while and I stuff the pills in the pocket of my hoodie. Getting down I walk in Walmart spotting her waiting to check out. "Hey." I smile giving her a side hug expecting her to smile back but she doesn't. "Hey. Sorry you had to come all the way in."
"It's cool. I wasn't doin nothin' anyways." I mumble waiting in line with her. "You smell like weed." She whispers frowning. "My bad." I say noticing how terrible she looks. It looks like she ain't slept in days. I mean her hair is combed and she's dressed nice as usual but she just don't look like herself I guess due to her not taking her medicine. I help her put her stuff on the lil belt thing once it's her turn and Rayne doesn't say much as the lady checks her out. "Thank you." I say getting the last of her bags. I end up pushing her buggy for her while we walk to her car. I don't say much of anything not wanting to make her mood pissier. After we load her trunk I close it. "Sorry if I'm being stand offish. I've just been really stressed out these past couple of days." She struggles to explain.
"Nah you good." I look around the parking lot. "You feel like talkin' about it?" Shaking her head she looks down at the concrete. "Not really." Not knowing if she's acting weird because of her medicine or because of me kissing her the other night I decide to not say anything. "Ight well here you go." I give her the medicine and she throws them in her purse. "Thank you, again."
"No problem." I give her a hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Get some rest, get home safe." Finally smiling she mumbles an almost inaudible "Okay. Goodnight. Text me when you get home." She says starting her car.
