Emmeline [Joker X OC]

Chapter Thirteen

I trembled on the bed I sleep in. Noah must have moved me.

My fingers shook uncontrollably. Tears flowed down my cheeks as I screamed in the pillow. My heart thudded with every beat.

I killed him. I killed a man. My husband.

I felt faint and dizzy. I stood up and ran to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet. Slumming against the wall, my head weighed down and tears dropped on the floor.

I was the monster.

Strong arms picked me up and moved me back to the bed. My vision was clouded, but I saw the familiar face. I was a killer like him.

"What happened?" he asked, curious. I tried to hold back my tears, but I couldn't. Vespa wrapped him arms around my shoulders and I pushed him away.

"You need me doll," he whispered harshly into my ear. I squealed, turning my head away from him. He cupped my chin and roughly made me look at him.

He looked at me with a quizzical look on him, almost seeping into anger. He didn't know what was hurting me and it was killing him. He needed to know everything.

"Tell. Me," Joker hissed, squishing my cheeks. My eyes gleamed red and I felt as if I was going to throw up again. My breaths were staggered. I tried to force my body to resume a calmer state, but with every breath, I only cried more.

He pushed me down on the bed and straddled my hips with his body. I laid helpless against his power.

"Do you want me to - ah - hurt you?" he grinned, taking a knife from his pocket. I squirmed against his strength but it was no use. His smile widened with each of my struggled and he placed the knife under my neck.

"Tell me," he sang.

"I killed him," I whispered. He furrowed his eyebrows and lifted the knife from my neck. He was surprised and slightly lifted his heavy body from mine.

"Who?" he asked, his voice no longer angry. I bit my lips

"My-," I staggered before answering. "I believe my husband." My words seemed foreign to me. I couldn't believe what I was saying, and neither could he.

"Your husband?" he asked, brushing away a tear of mine. I nodded. His face twitched, almost invisibly. I closed my eyes, my breaths slowly regaining control.

"Why?"

I didn't know the answer to the question. I didn't know why I killed someone that I proposed a vow to forever love. Was I just like him? A deranged monster whose only appetite was murder? The gun had felt right in my hands. When I shot it, the adrenaline that ran through my body felt almost electrifying.

I was scared to admit it. To admit what I saw and what I felt. It wasn't the person I was. But then, who was that person? When I looked into the mirror, I saw a terrified little girl. I wasn't that when I killed the man. I was strong, sexy. I was a woman. Maybe it wasn't me.

I knew that to be untrue. I knew a man had died by these hands. I whimpered, my head rolling to the side of the pillow.

"I don't know why," I said, looking at the rising sun. He chuckled as he got off my hips and sat next to me.

"Maybe you're just a monster, like me," he smiled when I looked at him with fear.

"I am not," I hissed, afraid it was true.

"But see, we're the real humans doll. We're the truth. We show true human nature. The cold-blooded murders are what fuel the fire of humanity. Humans aren't made to be good. We love chaos. Entropy. That's what makes us run alive," he caressed my cheek and I turned away from his dark eyes. The eyes that seemed to follow me everywhere.

"I am not you," I said, hearing a small puff.

"You just don't know it yet, beautiful. We're more alike than you'll ever imagine," he laughed, getting up from the bed. I bit my lips to stop the crying as he left the room. 

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