Coping Mechanisms

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A strange coping mechanism I've had since i was a child, is Peter Pan. I know it sounds odd, but whenever I was upset, I would imagine Peter giving me a hug and telling me it was going to be alright. Going somewhere new, Peter was by my side, talking to me and I knew I wasn't alone. He came with me on my first day of secondary school, and he came with me on several days since. I remember laughing to myself and getting weird looks from people as I imagined Peter flying through the corridor over people heads and pulling stupid faces.

Wow I have an overactive imagination.

I still have him now, at 16 years old I still have my imaginary friend by my side telling me it's alright and that I could always count on him. Granted it's not as much as it used to be. It used to be every day. Now I'm lucky if I see him once a month.

But still. Even now.  Whenever I make an 11:11 wish, I make it with him. He's always there at the back of my mind, making me laugh, letting me know I'm not alone. I suppose whenever you have those conversations with yourself in your head, mine are probably always with him. I understand how childish i sound right now but that's okay. It's how I keep myself afloat.

I mean the real story of Peter pan is a lot darker than the sugar coated Disney version. I'm about to ruin your childhoods if you didn't already know, but in the original story of Peter Pan, he kidnapped those children and when they got too old, he killed them. He's a bit like the Grim Reaper, taking people to their deaths. I mean, Neverland is meant to be heaven after all, or a version of it. Hook was a child who escaped. That's why he hates Peter. Because he took him away from his living family and now he can never go back.

Why after finding this out I'm still devoted to Peter I don't know. Perhaps it's because it sound okay to me. Being kidnapped, spending my days as a lost boy until whatever doom I should face. Maybe Neverland really was heaven in its own right! Maybe those kids were dead and he was just taking them to Neverland (heaven) and that's why they never grew up!

I don't know. But all I know is that every night i look out my window and wish i could leave it slightly open still in case Peter finally comes to take me.

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