It's over.
We ended it because it's better for us in the long run. We won't lose each other completely, as that would kill us, but we ended us.
And my heart is in shreds.
I lost him.
One of the most important people in the world to me and he's no longer mine. We're just friends.
I should have listened. I should have called it off early. It's just going to kill us when he goes to uni. It's killing me now, I'm lying in bed crying my eyes out and I miss him.
Five minutes and it's killing me.
I love him. I truly do love him and I know that he loves me and cares about me, which is why he said that maybe we should call it off because it's just going to hurt me.
I feel lost. Like I don't have purpose. I know it sounds silly, it is. But when you are so truly and deeply devoted to and in love with someone...
All I want right now is to curl up in a ball in his arms and either sleep or cry. I just want to hear that it's going to be okay.
But I'm tearing apart from the inside out and I can't say anything.
I don't want to say anything much to my friends because they probably don't wanna hear about my issues. I don't wanna appear like and attention seeking whore. Okay, maybe mild exaggeration, but i don't wanna bother my friends about it because they probably have other stuff to deal with.
But at the same time I crave a hug and some kind words. And ice cream. But thats just me.
Empty.
That's how i feel. Empty.
I know it will get better. I know we are going to be okay.
But boy let me tell you that's not how it feels right now.
