Last night was a roller coaster. But then again, every night seems to be. I don't know what's happening to me, I can't get him out of my head, but I'm not with him. I'm seeing someone else, someone I've been with for 10 months now. He's made me so happy, happier than I've ever been with anyone, I want to spend my life with him... But when night falls, and I'm left alone with my thoughts, I'm filled with wanting for the other. The other who is rude, numb, doesn't care for me or anyone. The other who most likely hates me more than anything. The other who I never got closure from. I've tried everything, I want to be free of all the thoughts, but they consume me. I'm suffocated by him almost, and I don't know what to do.
I just want to get out of it, out of this life, out of this body and mind.
I want to be happy.
