I do not smoke.
Nor will I ever take up the habit.
Not because it's dirty or whatever, there are some very personal reasons why I will never let a cigarette touch my lips.
My dad's best mate has two nephews. Ones my age and the other a year below us. I love those two ridiculous amounts. They're my brothers, my cousins, my mates, and I love them both a lot. I remember having Nerf gun fights in their room with them, barbeques in the back garden, playing on the swing on the huge oak tree, kayaking on the lake, cinema trips, walks, feeding the fish, trampolining, football, stomp rockets, and all the other fun stuff you do as kids. Their my brothers and I adore them both.
When I was eight their mother died of lung cancer.
And only a few months ago their father died of it too.
When their mother died, I didn't see the boys for months. I didn't think much of it at the time, yes I was upset but it didn't affect me as much as it affected them. Of course not, that was their mother! I didn't see them for months and when i finally did see them again, something was different. I couldn't put my finger on it at the time, but as I saw them this weekend, on the 8th year of her passing, I got it.
The light behind their eyes has gone.
They don't smile as wide anymore.
We still laugh and have fun and play like we used to, but it's just not the same.
When their mother died, I swore I would never smoke. Try it once maybe, but for the boys sake, I will not do it.
And now you know why I don't smoke.
