I Don't Even Know Your Name | Shawn Mendes

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Det här kan vara den värsta dagen i mitt liv. Jag vill bara gråta och skrika men jag kan inte ens röra mig. Om det här kommer ut så är Shawn's karriär över för gott. Fansen kommer inte vilja tro det men om det finns fejkade bevis så kommer de att- Nej alltså det här får inte hända!

"So this is why I've been such a dick head to you Norah. I needed you to break up because I didn't want to tell you about this and scare you."
"It's okay, I totally understand", svarar jag.
"But what are we gonna do? I told the interviewers about our relationship today..."
"I am not sure yet but I'll take care of that. Why don't you go get some sleep and I'll speak with you tomorrow?"
"Okay", svarar vi samtidigt. "Good night."

Vi går tysta hela vägen bort till vårt rum och väl där inne sätter vi oss på sängen. Vi flätar samman våra fingrar innan han börjar prata.

"Are you okay?"
"Yea I guess. Are you?"
"I'm actually pretty scared but I promise that we'll solve this problem."
"What if we can't Shawn? Look, this can destroy your career and you can go to jail. I would never let that happen to you. I'll do anything to prevent that even if it means that we have to br-"
"Don't say it!" utbrister han. "We are not going going to do that. We'll just have to keep our relationship to ourselves."
"You can never go to Sweden again... Whoever this person is, they're going to know that you're there to see me."
"You can come to me, I'll pay."

Jag suckar djupt. Visst vill jag åka och träffa Shawn men det är jobbigt för mig att resa och jag har aldrig tid på grund av skolan... Jag orkar inte diskutera det mer nu så jag går och gör mig iordning för natten.

Nästa morgon är jag dödstrött. Jag har vaknat flera gånger under natten och inte kunnat somna om eftersom min hjärna hade för mycket att tänka på.

"Couldn't sleep?" gissar Shawn och pussar mig i pannan.
"No..."
"Me neither."

Vi får frukosten till rummet och äter så mycket vi orkar utan att prata särskilt mycket. Jag vet liksom inte vad jag ska säga...

"Do you have any plans for today?" frågar jag sedan.
"I think I have a couple of more interviews and then I'm going to cuddle with my girlfriend."

~

Veckan har gått snabbt trots att vi inte kunnat göra så mycket mer än att vara inne på hotellrummet. Vi har pratat med Andrew och kommit fram till att han ska berätta för några kollegor som ska hjälpa till att spåra personen som skickat hot. Tills dess får vi ligga lågt med hört förhållande. Det kommer kännas jobbigt att höra Shawn säga att han är singel i intervjuer... Dessutom kommer jag behöva säga till mina kompisar att vi inte är tillsammans. Förutom Sandra och Frida såklart!

Shawn's perspektiv:

It's time for Norah to go back to Sweden after a hard week. Ever since Andrew told us about what's going on, she's been so sad. She has tried not to show me but I can see it in her eyes... I am scared of what's going to happen in the future, I mean if the person releases the rumors, I'll be down for good. I'll go to jail and I'll lose her. I'll lose the love of my life... Even if it doesn't comes out, we won't be able to see each other and that's going to make me lose her anyway. No matter what happens, it won't have a happy ending...

She'll leave for the airport in twenty minutes and I can't come with her to say good bye. I grab my guitar and sit next to her on the bed and then I start to play.

I promise that one day I'll be around
I'll keep you safe
I'll keep you sound
Right now it's pretty crazy
And I don't know how to stop
Or slow it down
Hey
I know there are some things we need to talk about
And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now
Take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
When you miss me close your eyes
I may be far but never gone
When you fall asleep tonight
Just remember that we lay under the same stars
And hey
I know there are some things we need to talk about
And I can't stay
Just let me hold you for a little longer now
And take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone
And take a piece of my heart
And make it all your own
So when we are apart
You'll never be alone
You'll never be alone

At the end of the song, both of us have tears down our cheeks. I just felt like this song fit in to our situation and as I was singing, I realized how hard things are going to be. I don't want her to go home, ever!

"I love you so much", I say and lean in to kiss her softly.
"I love you too Shawn. That's why we can't be together."
"What?"

Her words feel like a knife through my chest.

"I love you too much to let you risk your career for me."
"But we'll figure this out, I promise we will be fine. It's just for a little while Norah..."
"But what if it isn't? You may never find the person. We'll only be sad because we can't be together..."
"But please Norah, I-"
"No Shawn, I'm sorry. I need to leave. Maybe some day but not until you find the one who is sitting with fake information about you."