Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

7

When Patton woke the following Monday morning he felt strangely disappointed. He couldn't quite figure out why for a while. After all, he would be seeing his friends again today and although he did have to go to school he never really minded that too much. It wasn't until he caught himself lingering on the thought of his friends that he realized what the problem was.

Ever since the last Saturday morning Patton couldn't help but imagine being able to wake up with each of his friends there again. He found that all he really wanted that morning was to be surrounded by his friends again, wrapped up in their arms, safe and warm and comforted by their presence. He wished they were there still, and that they never had to leave each other.

He was vaguely aware of his brain trying to remind him that he needed to get up and prepare for school, but he simply shrugged those thoughts off. He didn't want to get ready just yet. His bed was far too warm, and his thoughts of his friends drowned out the reasonable voice trying to make him get up and go.

He wasn't sure when his thoughts drifted from normal and completely platonic to what they were now. He didn't question it at first, didn't seem to think there was anything wrong with where his mind had drifted in his half-awake state. At first he was only romantically thinking about Logan, which certainly wasn't unusual considering they were dating each other. It was when he began to include Virgil, and even Roman in his romantic daydreams that became concerning.

When he finally seemed to realize what he had been thinking of, Patton was immediately snapped out of his thoughts and a lot more awake than before. His cheeks burned as he wondered where the idea even came from. He didn't feel that way about either of them! Right..?

Patton shook his head at himself. Of course he didn't. They were his friends-he had a boyfriend, and Roman and Virgil were happy with each other! Yet, even now he couldn't help but wish that the ideas in his head could be true. That they could all be together. That was crazy though, wasn't it?

Patton groaned and let his head fall back to gently hit his head against his headboard with a thud. He repeated this action a few times, hoping maybe he could literally shake the thoughts out of his confused brain. That's all it was, surely. He was just tired and confused. Later on he would forget these thoughts, forget that he ever even had them.

Of course, he told himself, absentmindedly scratching at his wrist. This was simply a one time thing. It wasn't as if he were in love with Roman and Virgil or something. Patton huffed out a quiet laugh at the idea, still scratching at his arm. That would be ridiculous. Why would he be in love with his friends? And why was his arm so itchy? Patton turned his attention to his arm that he had been scratching, and immediately the color drained from his face. Staring back up at him were two red tally marks, right beneath the one black one he had on his wrist for a while, that had certainly not been there before.

Patton felt as though he might throw up as he began to panic.

His heartbeat sped up, stomach twisting and turning as he began to think of the implications of what those two red marks meant. He loved his friends. He was in love with his friends. How? How could he possibly be in love with them when he was only supposed to be in love with Logan?

He still loved Logan... didn't he? Patton shook his head at himself. Of course he did. He couldn't imagine anything happening that could make him stop loving Logan. But how could he be in love with all three of them? How did that happen?

More importantly, he decided to focus on, how on earth was he going to hide this from them all? Lying was bad-he knew that, but what would happen if they did know? Surely they would hate him. Logan would be upset with him-he knew how this looked. It looked like he no longer loved him, like he had moved on.

Roman and Virgil would hate him too. The two of them loved each other, he knew that, so why would he ever even think of being with either of them? They were all going to hate him and there was nothing he could do, they would figure it out and they would leave him and he would be all on his own, and-

Something on his desk caught Patton's eye and distracted him from his panicked thoughts. It was a small round container, one he had seen often. Inside was makeup-Virgil's makeup. It looked like he had forgotten it when they had stayed over the previous night.

What if he used that to hide the marks? Yes it was lying, and he hated to do something like that, but he couldn't imagine how much worse it might be if they found out. He still wasn't sure what to think of it, so who knew what the others might say?

Patton nodded to himself, deciding on what he needed to do. He would use the makeup to cover up the tally marks, and when that didn't work any more he would figure something else out. For now, all he needed to do was go to school and pretend that nothing was wrong. He was sure that he could manage that.

Getting to his feet, Patton took a deep and calming breath before he made his way to his desk, grabbing the container and getting to work on covering the two red marks. He could do this. He had to do this.

Hi! Just letting you know this book should now be updated every Monday and Friday, and possibly on Wednesday's too if I decide I am able to keep up! Thank you so much for reading, and let me know what you think of the story so far. I love reading all of your comments. ^•^ Bye!-Bob