Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

23

"Virgil!" Patton called excitedly, the only warning the darkly dressed teen got before arms were thrown around him in a tight hug. Virgil stumbled back slightly, putting his arms around Patton to help steady himself.

"Hey Patton," Virgil mumbled. He was still exhausted, he hadn't gotten much sleep that night, and he felt a little irritable. Patton seemed to pick up on his mood, pulling back from the hug with a frown.

"Everything okay?" Patton asked, and Virgil shrugged, glancing away from him.

Things are just perfect, he thought sarcastically, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. He looked back at Patton for a moment, frowning as he caught sight of the worried look being sent his way. He sighed, and looked away again. "'M fine. Just tired."

Patton shared a look with Logan, who had been standing quietly behind Patton since Virgil had arrived. Logan looked back to him, stepping forward and speaking up. "You are sure that you're mood is not at all caused by yesterday's events?"

"Positive." Virgil lied obviously, deciding to change the subject then. "So, how are you guys?"

"We're good!" Patton interjected before Logan could speak to Virgil again, understanding that the subject was changed for a reason. He smiled at Virgil, looking from him to Logan. "So Virgil, me and Logan were thinking of going out after school. Maybe to that one coffee shop nearby. Wanna come with us?"

Instead of making things less awkward, Patton apparently only succeeded in making things worse as Virgil tensed up. He frowned, shifting from one foot to another and not meeting their eyes. "I... I dunno, guys. I don't think... i-it's just-"

"Virgil," Logan spoke up again, cutting him off. "If I am correct in assuming what you're thinking, then just know we do not mean it like that. We would be going as friends."

"Of course," Patton nodded, catching on to what Logan meant. "I didn't mean for it to sound like that! We understand why you can't do that, and we respect that! You're our friend before anything else, okay? We'll always respect your decisions."

Virgil didn't know why he felt so relieved hearing that. Of course they would understand-they were his best friends. He should have already known they wouldn't try to force him into anything-but all of this was weird and new. Virgil really didn't know what to think, and he was scared.

"I... thank you." Virgil mumbled, offering a small smile to his friends that was returned immediately. "I'm really lucky to have you guys as my friends..."

"We're the lucky ones!" Patton grinned, pulling Virgil into another sudden hug that Logan joined in this time.

"What'd you say then, Virge?" Patton asked as they pulled away. "Do you wanna go? We'd love to hang out with you again."

Virgil was going to say yes. He had already opened his mouth to get the words out, knowing that he did want to go. He had to pause for a moment, because of course he wanted to go, but did that mean he should?

Yes; Logan and Patton had said that they only meant for it to be the three of them hanging out as friends. However, Virgil still couldn't help but feel like it wasn't just them being together as friends. He trusted Logan and Patton, but the one person he didn't know if he could trust or not was himself. He knew that if he went he could convince himself it was a date easily, he might get too caught up in these confusing feelings. He might do or say something that would completely change everything.

He couldn't help but feel like if he went, it might be cheating.

"I-I can't," Virgil muttered out as last, frowning and staring at the ground. "I'm sorry. I just-I can't."

"That's okay," Patton assured with a smile, hiding the slight disappointment he felt easily. "Just... let us know if you want to some other time. We're still always here for you if you need it."

"Classes are about to start," Logan mentioned before Virgil got the chance to answer. The three of them said there goodbyes, and went off to their separate classes.

****

Patton and Logan walked to the coffee shop after school in complete silence, neither of them really knowing what to talk about. They had just left the school together after saying a very awkward goodbye to Virgil, who now seemed too worried to talk to them normally. It hurt them both for things to be like this, but they could understand. It was difficult and confusing for all of them.

When the two of them arrived at the coffee shop Logan stepped forward to hold open the door for Patton. Patton smiled at him as he walked in, both of them getting drinks before they sat down at one of the tables. Things stayed quiet for a few more moments, before Patton finally decided to be the one to break it.

"This is... weird," He mumbled, slouching in his seat and hiding behind his drink. "I hate how complicated everything always has to be. Why can't a problem of ours just be simple, for once?"

Logan shrugged, sighing. "I don't know. This really is a complicated issue. I... don't really know what might happen next. I'm... worried."

"Me too," Patton agreed, frowning and picking at a spot on the table where it was chipping. "I'm mostly worried about Virgil. He... be doesn't have Roman, like we have each other. He doesn't think he can talk to him, and it doesn't seem like he's going to talk to us..."

Patton closed his eyes, head tilted downward as he tried to avoid crying. "I almost feel like... maybe it was better, before."

"Before what?" Logan asked, reaching out a hand to hold Patton's, stopping him from picking at the table anymore. He watched as Patton stared down at their hands, not saying anything.

"Maybe it was better before Virgil got his tallies. I mean... I was so happy to find out another one of mine was black. Definitely scared and confused, but more than anything I was excited. It was just like when your tally turned black." Patton smiled as his other hand moved to touch the black tally that had been his first ever. He traced his finger up and down the mark, staying quiet. After a while his smile fell again, and he sighed.

"But... it's just made everything worse. We can't... we can't be with him, even though he returns our feelings, and now it's like everything is too awkward to even spend time as friends." Patton sniffled, arms coming up to wipe his face free of tears. Logan squeezed his hand, hoping it was at least a little comforting.

"I just want to go back to being friends, like before any of this happened," Patton muttered, looking like he was on the verge of tears. Logan moved from his seat in the booth across from Patton over to his side, sitting beside of him and wrapping his arms around him. Patton looked up at him, tears in his eyes.

"Why can't everything just be normal again, Logan?" He cried, hiding his face in his boyfriend's chest. "I just want everything to go back to normal again." 

This is late oops I'm sorry

Also, the next chapter is my favorite chapter, and one that I've been waiting to write since forever so I'll let you guys guess whether it's a cute fluffy scene or heart-wrenching angst. Anyways, thanks for reading, hope you liked this chapter. Let me know what you think. Bye!-Bob