Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

40

This book is super close to 50K thanks so much!!!!!! I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, thank you for all of your comments and votes. ^•^

Roman didn't get very much sleep that night.

To be fair, he hadn't gotten much sleep the previous nights either. Ever since he and Virgil had broken up it seemed all he could do at night was lie awake and wonder why. Why Virgil had gone behind his back, why he didn't love him.

Those thoughts weren't there now, though. He truly did believe what Logan and Patton had told him. Instead he was left to wonder just what he should do now, after hearing everything. Should he go back to Virgil, and his friends? Would things go back to normal?

Did he want things to go back to normal?

It was a confusing situation, there was no doubt about that. However, if Virgil loved his friends and they loved him back, then Roman didn't really get much of a say in what he chose to do. He thought it would bother him, but actually thinking about it he wasn't really sure. He wanted to be happy, and he wanted to be with Virgil. He wanted Virgil to be happy too, though.

How exactly would that work? Him dating Virgil, while Virgil was also dating Logan and Patton. Is that what they would do? Suddenly a thought hit him that made his heart shatter.

What if Virgil didn't even want him to come back? He didn't come with Logan and Patton after all, and while what they said made it seem like he could be missing Roman he didn't truly know. Roman must have really hurt him. He couldn't blame Virgil if he didn't want to trust Roman again after he had freaked out and refused to even listen to Virgil's side of things.

Roman wasn't really sure when he managed to fall asleep. It felt like less than five minutes until his alarm blared on his bedside table and he had to get up for school. He felt exhausted and miserable, and he was still conflicted on what to do.

Roman tried to get into the school building quickly that morning, just as he had ever since this all started. However he couldn't help but take a glance over at his friends, coming to a stop as he looked over at them. Of course, Roman had the worst luck ever. It seemed that every time he paused to look at them one of them had to look back at him.

It was Virgil who caught his eye this time, seeming surprised to find Roman looking his way. Roman stayed frozen for a few seconds, before his face flushed and he turned away. He only took a few more steps before he couldn't help but glance back, catching it as Virgil's face fell. He looked so sad, and Roman couldn't stand seeing it.

He needed to think of what he was going to say to them after school.

****

Virgil was the first one out of the school. He was waiting in their spot for Patton and Logan to get there. The three of them had planned to go over to Patton's house again, no real plans other than to just spend more time together. Virgil had been looking forward to it the entire day, mostly because he knew that if he didn't focus on that his mind would be on Roman.

Roman, who he had met eyes with that morning randomly. It was painful to think about, but Virgil couldn't help it when his mind did slip to thoughts of him. He had looked so... sad, that morning. Usually he walked past them so quickly he could never tell what he was feeling, but seeing him then it was obvious how much pain he was in.

It was his fault.

Virgil had been the one to cause all of this. He couldn't help his feelings and he didn't want to change them, but he did wish things had gone differently. That he had told Roman sooner. That he hadn't kissed Patton and Logan behind his back. He hated seeing one of the people he loved so upset because of something he did.