Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

30

(I'm posting this message in this chapter of this book, and in the next chapter in my book HHS, sorry if you see it twice)

Hi! So, if you are following me you've probably seen some weird and random things on my message board lately because of wattpads new update. I've been counting down until today, which is my birthday! A lot of people seemed interested to know what I was counting down to, so I wanted to make it a little more exciting than just saying that. So, that's why you're getting this update today. I am still on a break, which I again am sorry for, things are still busy but I did want to do this for you guys and I hope that you enjoy it. Anyways, thanks for reading, and thanks to the people who have already wished me a happy birthday today haha. Enjoy the new chapter!

Virgil: Are you at Patton's?

Virgil's finger hovered above the send button, hands shaking. He could barely even see his screen through his eyes blurred with tears, wondering whether he should even bother sending the text to Logan at all. After all it wasn't as if the three of them were talking very much. Virgil had already been unfair to both of them, and going to them because of this would be even more unfair.

Just as Virgil was ready to back out and delete the message entirely his shaking hands accidentally hit the send button anyways. Virgil's heart stopped as he saw the check underneath the text that meant that it had been seen already, shutting it off as Logan began to text back.

Virgil breathed in and out frantically, squeezing his eyes shut and cursing himself for the hundredth time for letting Roman see the tally marks on his arm. The sound of his phone receiving a text made him jump, nearly dropping the device in his hands. He took in a few deep breaths, opening up his phone and looking at the text.

Logan: I am. Is something wrong?

Virgil didn't bother sending any reply, instead letting his feet carry him in the direction of his friends house. By the time he finally got there his lungs were burning, his eyes red and puffy, and his makeup smeared. He stood in front of the door for a while, hand raised and trying hard to find the courage to just knock. Closing his eyes to draw in another deep breath Virgil didn't let himself think about it any more, bringing his fist finally to the door and knocking as loud as he could. His heart hammered in his chest as he waited for seconds that felt more like hours, and it only got worse when the door finally swung open.

Logan and Patton both stood at the door, shock painting their features at seeing Virgil there. Guilt twisted Virgil's stomach into knots, wishing he hadn't come. He was sure this was going to cause more drama, he was positive they would only be mad at him and-

Arms were thrown around his shoulders, Patton's warmth enveloping him and making him realize just how cold it was outside. He sunk into the inviting arms around him, tears still refusing to stop as Logan joined in the hug too. Sooner than Virgil would have liked the hug was over, and he was left feeling colder than before, but Patton and Logan were quick to pull him inside of the warm house, sitting down with him on the couch in Patton's living room.

"I'm-I'm sorry," Virgil managed to gasp out after a while of silence between the three of them. Logan was in the kitchen, getting Virgil a hot chocolate like he and Patton had to help him get warmer, but Patton heard him. He pulled him closer in his arms, shaking his head.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Virgil." He reassured.

"I do, though." Virgil mumbled. "I... I've been so unfair to you, I-I shouldn't have ignored you guys when you did nothing wrong. Now here I am, crawling back to you for help because something has gone wrong, and I don't even-"

Virgil cut himself off with another sob as Logan returned from the kitchen to sit with them, copying Patton and sitting with an arm wrapped around Virgil's shoulders. He gave Virgil his drink, Virgil looking up at him with tear-filled eyes and sighing. "I don't deserve you guys at all..."

"Virgil, that's not true at all," Patton started, but Virgil shook his head.

"Yes it is. You were right. I was unfair before, and I'm being unfair to you now and I-" he sniffed, hiding his face in his hands and sighing. "I don't know what to do..."

"Talk to us," Logan prompted, speaking up for the first time. "We are here for you no matter what has happened."

Virgil looked up at him again, and then at Patton who also seemed to be waiting for a response from him. "I-he... it's Roman." Virgil paused, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. "He... he knows. He knows about the tallies."

Silence followed Virgil's explanation, both Patton and Logan sharing a worried look. Patton looked back to Virgil first, mouth opening and closing as he tried to form a coherent sentence. "I-wh-what did he say?"

Virgil kept his eyes tightly shut, unable to say anything for a moment. Their entire argument played out in his head again, and while he had calmed down a lot since it happened having to remember made his anxiety return almost immediately. "Nothing good."

"We are sorry, Virgil." Logan muttered, a hand going to Virgil's comfortingly. "I know you were scared of this happening... just know that we will be here for you through all of this. No matter what."

"Of course," Patton agreed immediately, arms holding Virgil tighter and running fingers through his hair. "We still love you, and we'd do anything for you Virge. Whatever you need, we're here."

"Thanks," Virgil muttered out softly, returning Logan's grip on his hand and leaning into Patton's hugs. "I-I lo..."

"We know," Logan cut him off, sensing his discomfort. "You don't have to say it. Even if you didn't, we would still be here. We are your friends."

"Thank you," Virgil sighed out again, his relief obvious. Silence surrounded the trio once again, this one less tense and painful although still not fully comfortable. All three of them had thoughts racing in their minds about their situation, none of them good but for now they had each other.