Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

14

It had only been an hour since Virgil had arrived back home, and already he missed his friends. Roman especially-he could meet up with his other friends at any time, but only a day had passed since Roman left for the week and it already felt like forever since he had seen him. He wished he could have gone with him somehow, or that he hadn't left at all.

Still, at least he had his friends to spend time with. He knew that no matter what he could go to one of them if he needed it, and he was grateful to have them there while Roman was gone.

Virgil's thoughts began to wander, thinking back to the past two days he spent with his friends. He thought of one friend in particular the most, a smile on his lips and blush dusting his cheeks. He remembered being held by him, an arm wrapped securely over his shoulder. Thought of his fingers brushing through his hair gently, his bright happy smile that grew wider when he glanced his way, and he began to wonder what it might be like to lean in just a tiny bit and-

Virgil shook his head, face burning a bright red. How could he think that? Patton was his friend-that was it. He loved Roman, not him. So why was he thinking of him in that way?

Maybe because he had known from the beginning that he had a crush on him. Even though at the same time he had a crush on Roman and was falling in love he still always felt something for the other even after their tallies appeared and they started dating. He cared about him more than he probably should in that situation, and whether he would admit it to himself or not he still felt those things. He had pushed them down, ignored them for an entire year, but they weren't gone.

No, Virgil told himself, shaking his head. This is crazy. He was just missing Roman. That's why he was dwelling on these things. That's the only reason. After all, he couldn't really love Patton in that way. Right...?

Virgil hardly noticed his heartbeat steadily speeding up, or his breathing becoming shallow. How could he possibly be thinking about things like this? What was wrong with him? He had a boyfriend who he loved and who loved him, and here he was thinking about someone else? That was insane. He was awful for even having such a thought.

Virgil shook his head again, realizing he was about to panic worse and drawing in a shaky breath in an attempt to calm himself. He couldn't be falling in love with someone else, he reassured himself. He just couldn't. He loved Roman too much.

Still, no matter how many times he tried to call himself, tried telling himself that everything was okay and they were just stupid thoughts, his mind was still racing. He couldn't stop the oncoming thoughts whispering to him that he knew it was true, he was denying it but he couldn't hide from it forever. His mind told him he was bad for even considering it, and worse because it was true.

As Virgil's thoughts got out of control he realized he needed help. He needed something, anything at all to help distract him, to pull his thoughts away from this. He needed someone to help him. He reached for his phone instantly, turning it on with shaking hands and searching through his contacts. His first thought was to call Roman, and his finger even hovered over the call button before he realized he couldn't do that. Roman was always the one he called when he had an anxiety attack or something else was wrong ever since they started dating, but now he was on vacation and Virgil feared that talking to him would only make the situation worse.

So then who should he talk to? Virgil frowned, continuing to try and breathe but not being very successful in calming down. He couldn't calm down-he needed a distraction, he needed help, he needed something. Virgil scrolled down some more on his phone, passing Patton's contact and instead going to Logan's. He could talk to Logan. He was the only friend of his that wasn't currently the cause of his panic, and he could also help Virgil.

Without any other thoughts Virgil tapped the call button, trying to swallow down the lump in his throat. The phone had only rang once and he was already worrying that Logan wouldn't pick up, that he would be left to deal with this all on his own. Even worse, he worried that he was calling too late, that he would annoy him, that he wouldn't help him at all.

Then, only two seconds after the second ring Logan picked up the phone. Virgil heard shifting on the other end. "Hello?"

Virgil opened his mouth, trying to say something, anything at all, his he couldn't. He didn't know what he was supposed to say, and he wasn't even sure that if he did know that he would be able to force the words out. He swallowed again, trying to just say something to let Logan know he was there, so he wouldn't just hang up. He tried, but nothing came out.

"Virgil, that is you right? Are you feeling okay?" Logan questioned, and Virgil held his breath, eyes squeezed shut as tears threatened to spill over. He opened his mouth once again.

"L-Logan-" He choked out, voice wavering.

"Virgil? Are you okay?" He heard more shuffling on the other end. "Do you need me to come over?"

"I-if you-if you can," Virgil muttered quietly, tears finally slipping down his cheeks. He drew in a huge, shaky, breath that made his chest burn. "P-please..."

"Breathe, Virgil. It will be alright. I'll be there in just a few minutes." Logan assured him, and Virgil felt the slightest bit relieved. He would be okay. Logan was going to help. He drew in another shaky breath, once again closing his eyes and nodding.

"Okay," he mumbled, still trying to focus on breathing. "Please hurry."

On the other end of the phone Virgil could hear Logan moving quickly, his door opening and closing. "Okay," he promised. "I will."

Lol you guys should be glad I was out of the pool getting a drink when my alarm to update this went off, otherwise I would have totally forgotten I need to upload today. Whoops.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought of the chapter/what you think will happen next chapter! Take care of yourselves. Bye!-Bob