Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

36

I hope that this long, pretty fluffy chapter will make up for me leaving for the rest of this week-I am I'm Florida, finally able to see my dad and my sister again so I'm gonna try and stay off of here to spend time with them. So sorry, it might be a little bit longer than a week before I update again.

Patton, Virgil, and Logan sat wordlessly on the bed in Patton's bedroom, none of them looking at each other. None of them knew where to begin with what needed to be talked about, so no one tried to. Virgil and Logan continued to dwell on their separate dilemmas, and Patton worried about both of them. Eventually, Patton reached out to take both of their hands, gaining their attention.

"We have to start talking at some point," he said softly, looking from Virgil over to Logan. "Logan, why don't you talk about what's been bothering you first?"

Patton didn't want to make either of them feel pressured to speak, but he did know that they needed to. He wouldn't usually force either of them to start first, but he knew Virgil well and knew that it would be harder on him if he had to go first. Virgil was thankful for this, and although Logan was reluctant to discuss his feelings he understood, and didn't mind going first if only for Virgil's sake.

"I... I know that I have already explained that I am missing Roman." Logan began, frowning. "But there... there is more that I am worried about."

Virgil and Patton shared a worried look, wondering what else could be bothering him. Patton squeezed his hand, Virgil using his other hand to take Logan's free one. Patton was the one to speak up finally. "What else..? You can talk to us, Logan."

"I know," Logan sighed, staring down at his lap and shaking his head. "I believe I have started... I-I have been thinking of him... differently."

"If you mean you're feeling angry because of everything, that's understandable. Roman is hurt too, but he still pushed you, and he still chose to ignore me..." Virgil frowned, shrinking into his hoodie more. "If that's what you mean, then I get it."

"That... was not what I meant. Yes, he could be handling this whole situation much better, but I do not blame him. Emotions are confusing, and difficult to deal with. I can kind of understand that." Logan explained. "I am not upset with him for pushing me. It... it did hurt, but knowing what he thinks happened? It is understandable."

"Then what did you mean?" Patton asked, feeling confused along with Virgil. Logan breathed in deeply to calm himself, letting it out slowly as he thought of how to phrase it.

"I've been thinking of him... like I think about both of you." He admitted, looking between the two. Virgil's cheeks burned as he realized what he meant, and neither him nor Patton were sure what to say.

"You... do you have another...?" Virgil trailed off, and Logan shook his head.

"No new mark. I'm... I don't want to have one." He muttered.

"Logan," Patton started, squeezing his hand again. "Denying your feelings and bottling them up isn't going to help you. It's going to make it worse... you know we'll be here to help you through it!"

Logan sighed, looking down at his lap again. He knew Patton was right, and for a startling moment he felt his arm begin to itch. Almost immediately however, his worry overcame the feeling and it disappeared. Logan pushed it down again-just like he had before with Virgil and Patton.

"It's different this time," Logan said, looking up at Patton. "Falling in love with him won't do me any good either. He won't... even if he listens to Virgil, that doesn't mean that he'll..."

Logan stopped, and no one else said anything either. It took a few more minutes before Logan eventually spoke again. Still thinking of Roman, he quietly muttered. "I don't know what I would do if I had another tally. I... I am scared."