Tally Marks (Thomas Sanders PolySanders/LAMP fanfiction)

10

Logan did his best to avoid meeting his friends at school the next morning. He didn't want to face Patton. He still needed time to think about what he had been told.

He, along with Patton, did not sleep well the night before. He had no nightmares like Patton had, but he was sure he would have had he actually managed to fall asleep. He was confused, and wasn't sure what he was supposed to be thinking. Logan could handle all kinds of stressful and confusing situations, but adding feelings into the mix never failed to cause him to shut down.

How was he supposed to react knowing that his boyfriend loved two other people? He really wanted to believe Patton when he said that he still loved him too, but in the back of his mind he couldn't help but wonder. If Patton loved him then why wasn't he enough? Why did he fall for someone else?

These thoughts plagued him throughout each of his classes that day. He found that he could hardly focus on the words of his teacher, and was glad that they were teaching a subject he already knew a lot about in his current class. Luck seemed to be on his side that day as not a single teacher said anything about his attention being elsewhere. He was sure at least one had noticed, but even she said nothing to him. He supposed that was an upside to being the teachers pet.

By the time lunch came around Logan wasn't sure what to do. He still didn't want to face his friends, but he knew that if they spotted him in the cafeteria then they would most likely approach him to ask what was wrong. Despite being confused and upset, Logan could not approach Roman or Virgil about his issue. He understood that doing so would hurt Patton, and he couldn't possibly do that.

In the end he decided to skip out of lunch that day. One missed day would not kill him. It was during this lonely lunch hiding in an empty classroom that Logan came to a conclusion.

He should not care that Patton had gained two new marks. Sure, it was unusual. It certainly hurt him to think of the possibility that he was not enough for Patton, or that he no longer loved Logan, but those thoughts were simply ridiculous. If he knew anything at all about Patton, it was that he was not a liar. If he said that he still loved Logan, then he had no reason to lie about such a thing.

The only thing that truly mattered was that the two still cared for each other. Patton was not lying, and Logan's feelings had not changed, then there was no reason for him to worry. After all, Patton could not choose who he fell in love with. No one could choose something like that. Not only that, but Patton had made it clear he was not going to go behind Logan's back for any reason. He did not lie about what was troubling him, and there was no way he would ever possibly cheat on him. So what did it even matter?

It didn't, Logan decided. It didn't matter at all, and now all he needed to do was find Patton as soon as possible and assure him that he did not mind.

****

It wasn't until after school that Logan found Patton to speak with him. He needed to catch him when he wasn't with Roman and Virgil, and that was the only time he thought would be best. As he walked out of the schools doors he kept an eye out for his boyfriend, finally finding his leaving the building alone and making his way towards where Roman and Virgil seemed to be waiting for him. Logan ran up to him quickly, calling his name name and succeeding in getting him to stop.

"Logan..?" Patton asked as he turned around, looking surprised. He seemed scared and sad(and incredibly tired, just as Logan probably did), and Logan felt horrible realizing it was most likely caused by him.

"Patton..." Logan frowned, wanting to apologize, or say anything to make him feel better. He stopped himself, glancing to where their friends were watching them. He turned back to Patton, opening and closing his mouth while trying to find the right words to say. "Can I speak with you? Alone?"

Patton slowly nodded, looking back to Roman and Virgil and waving for them to go ahead without him. They seemed to understand, sending the two of them worried looks before they turned to leave. Patton turned back to Logan after watching them go, not quite meeting his eyes. "Er... What was it you wanted to say?"

"Why don't we talk as we walk home?" Logan suggested, glancing around at the other students gathered outside of the school. Patton nodded in agreement, and the two began to make their way down the sidewalk silently. Neither of them knew where to begin with what they had to talk about, but eventually Logan found the words to break the awkward silence.

"I am not mad at you. And I certainly will not tell them." Logan assured. Patton glanced at him, surprised at hearing him speak up. "And... I do not mind. It... took me a while, to realize it, but all that truly matters is that we still care for one another and are happy together."

There was a pause from Logan, who stopped walking momentarily to turn towards Patton. "You... are still happy being with me, aren't you?"

"Of course!" Patton answered immediately, his voice unexpectedly loud. Logan winced, and Patton quickly apologized. "I'm sorry. I don't want you to think... I love you so so much Logan, there's nothing that can change that. I hope you know that."

"I do," Logan offered a smile, sighing in relief. He was happy to hear those words, despite the fact that he already heard them all the time normally. "And I love you too, Patton. I am incredibly happy to have you as my boyfriend."

Patton grinned, jumping up to throw his arms around Logan. "I'm so happy we're not arguing anymore! I know it was only a day and it couldn't even really be described as arguing, but I felt miserable! I couldn't get enough sleep last night because I was so worried."

"Same here..." Logan admitted, smiling sheepishly at Patton. Patton pulled back from the hug, grabbing a hold of Logan's hand instead.

"Would you like to hang out a my house for a while? We could watch movies for a bit, and maybe take a nap to catch up on sleep." He suggested, and Logan couldn't help but laugh weakly.

"It is... amazing, how quickly we have recovered from this." He said, looking down at the sidewalk and getting lost in thought. Patton's excitement died down, and he was worried he had gotten excited too quickly.

"Is it... do you need more time to yourself? I get it-this is weird and confusing... it is for me too. I don't mind if you still don't want to hang out." Patton muttered, letting go of Logan's hand. Logan only held Patton's hand tighter, not wanting him to let go.

"No, it is not that. I am relieved that we are able to get past this, it is just..." Logan paused, searching for the right words. He sighed, closing his eyes as he spoke again. "As you said, it is confusing. I still do not know how to handle knowing that you love two other people, but..."

Patton chewed on his lip nervously as he waited for Logan to continue. He hated that he was making things difficult for Logan. He never meant to hurt him with this-he never even meant to fall in love with two of his great friends, but somehow it had happened and now he had to handle it. Hesitantly Patton spoke up, urging Logan to continue. "But..?"

"I would prefer to figure all of this out with you, rather than alone." Logan admitted finally, showing another small smile to his boyfriend. "So for now... I would love to spend time with you without worrying about any of this. And I hope that we are able to work everything out later."

Patton smiled again, grateful he had someone as amazing as Logan in his life. He leaned upwards, pressing a short kiss to his boyfriend's lips. He gripped Logan's hand tighter as he pulled away, and pretty soon the two of them had made it to Patton's home and were talking and laughing and happy. There were a lot of things to discuss at a later date, but for now all that mattered was that they were together.