King's huge frickin' book of randomness galore:The ultimate

Would it be wrong

With a sigh, I sat down, guitar on my shoulder, and my heart in my hand. Honestly, was I really doing this? I was. Of course I was. I have to get this out some way. So I might as well go down strummin'.....

I stare out, various eyes staring back at me, watching and waiting. 

I un-sling my guitar, ready to combine it with my heart, to feel my soul coursing through the strings the way I had so many times in the past....

Alone.

Flexing my fingers.

Taking a breath.

Dammit, remember who you are; stop being twitchy, for your sake, your /you/. If you play, they'll listen.....If that's what you really want in the first place....

I crack my neck on both sides, sniffing and giving my fingers another flex.

Here goes nothin'....

Hey.....

With one stroke, I'm doing this. There's no turning back.

Can you hear me?

With another I'm lost. I'm gone; I'm there.

Do you still listen?

My heart and my soul have been turned over to the strings, and my eyes are full.

Full of her.

It all spills forth, and it's bare.

Do you still care?

or do you at least pretend?

I wanted to know.

....The way you did back then?

Just like that, I'm wondering again, the way I did when I sat surrounded by crumpled pieces of paper, groaning and staring at the ceiling, acoustic on my chest, seeing you staring back at me.

Does she know? 

Do you know?

Does she even care?

Do you even care?

Does she have any idea?

Do you have a clue, what your doin' to me, and do you even think?

Did she ever?

Did you event think about me? Did you dig in the black of your mind? Can you even, seeee? Past the fucked up things, that keep killin' me?

Why do I have to wonder so hard if the one who's told me she loved me first even gives a damn?

Why do I have to sit up at night, sweating in bed, every part of me screaming her name?

Do you wonder what I want?

Craving her words.

Do you wonder what I feel?

Craving her touch.

And how much, I hate that I love it when you make me heel?

Sweet genesis, her touch.

Yeah I said it, baby, 'cause I'm your dog, I'm on your leash, and I'm beggin yah please.....

Everything she was, hell, is, I crave. 

She's tainted me, and there isn't a single spot she ain't.

Whip me black, whip me blue, just tell me....

Is it all wrong?

Yeah, is it wrong?

Like everything else...

that I did....

before?