Renounce

Chapter 20

“If I were you, I would had finished the task at hand. I would have defeated that opponent and claim the position”, said the girl I always meet at the meadow. I'm currently sitting on my get away meadow, facing lake. The competition had finished and Adam was declared Beta and me Gamma of the throne.

For some gruesome reason, me being Gamma didn't fit right. I was terrified and was beyond worried. Tonight would be the coronation. Princess would claim the throne and the members will Oath their loyalty to throne. The gnawing feeling in my gut increased ten fold. I skipped from the preparations and came to this place for some sanity.

After the match, everyone was worried about my health. I did pass out but I gained my energy back very soon. It's like my energy increased some how.

“You know I was never power hungry, I only participated because I felt by doing so I'll help my kingdom somehow, but I was blinded with anger when I was fighting with Haesh, but slowly as my anger seeped away, I understood the situation I caused”.

I felt defeated and guilt was eating me away. “I should not have given to my anger, what to do” I asked her waiting for her reply. When it didn't come, I turned towards her. Her body was facing me and her feature were all illuminated by bright light.

“I wasn't lying when I told, I would have finished him to win the title. I am very much power hungry. Well, let's say not power but I'm hungry for respect which would come with power. Well I grew up in much different environment.”she said. I didn't understand her inner meaning but she felt very bad about something she's done. “Please don't go guilt trip on me, I can handle only so much”, I told. “Why, of course” she replied smiling at me.

“Ok, now we'll start from the beginning. Tell me what you are not telling, I cannot help you until you tell what's wrong.”she told.

I guess you can't hide anything from her. “I was all set to finish him, not just defeat but finish him. I wanted to show someone how wrong he was to choose a coward as a mate and how I was correct for him in all way. But when I looked up at him and his eyes reflecting my grave mistake,I understood, how wrong I was and how correct he was. He choose a compassionate and loving soul as his soulmate and rejected me, dark, angry and destructive soul”.

“Well if you think I understand puzzles then please have some pity on me. I don't speak riddles”she said.

Pity is what my dark soul doesn't have. I started crying. I was cursed, my soul became dark. No one will want me and no one will help me. “I guess my dark soul is the reason I have no mate.” I stopped crying as I started to wail loudly, uncontrollably. I could feel anxiety and sorrow tugging my heart deep within. But those feelings weren't mine.

“I didn't mean that, if you don't explain to me exactly what is your condition, then I cannot help you, right” she was smooth talking to me. She was very careful with her words as if I'm a timebomb waiting to blast. I was annoyed with my own stupidity. I was not only disturbing myself but also her. I smiled at her stating that it's the end of our discussion.

“ You know what Mia, you can only share all your feelings without thinking about judgemental views with me. I was in your place once and so I can understand what you are undergoing.” She said.

“But you and me are so different, you choose to stop when you felt it was wrong, I wouldn't, that makes you a better person than I was. I'm so proud of you.”

To say I was shocked was an understatement. “You didn't understand, I was planning on killing him. Am unpredictable and unfit for the throne”.

“And that makes you more appropriate for the throne. No one can predict you and that gives you advantage over others and in taking right decisions and coming to controlling your anger, nothing but some good training can't solve",she piped in happily. Her happiness is contagious. I felt at peace after so long.