Desire ♡ Jungkook/Reader FF ♡ Completed ♡

Pain 1/3

Min Yoongi's POV

I wanted to see her

I needed to see her.

I just couldn't stop thinking about how good she looked, after four years she still had the ability to take my breath away.

Jin and Jungkook both seemed to care for her and Jungkook in particular seemed to be very protective and even though I later found out they weren't a couple it still left me confused....why say they're together?

I wanted time alone with her but whenever I arrived at the headquarters she was always surrounded by people, I once tried to get her attention during a board meeting but she quickly looked away whenever our eyes met.

I didn't blame her, she had every right to hate me after what I did to her but people change.....I've changed.

I was young when we first met, I wasn't sure where my life was taking me and was so focused on my music that everything else came second place.

I promised Y/N something I wasn't ready to give, I loved her....that never really went away but I was so young and still had so many dreams.

I basically was left with a choice, do I marry the woman I'm falling in love with or do I focus on my career.

I couldn't have both, it was one or the other and I picked my music.

Yet I couldn't bring myself to walk away from our relationship, she was so special to me.

I was focusing so much on Y/N that my music suffered, I blamed her for that and soon we started to argue constantly.

I grew distant....I regret that but what I regret the most is drinking too much one night and sleeping with a girl from my university course only for Y/N to come home early from work and catch us in the act.

I remember the pain and disappointment in her eyes, I was so trashed that I couldn't make sense of what was happening.

I only remember waking up the next morning alone....Y/N had packed her things the night before and left.

I didn't even stop her.

I can remember yelling at the girl to leave, stumbling out of my room to talk with Y/N.

I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to say anything as she rushed around packing her things, she always kept stuff at my place even though we didn't live together.

I just watched through half lidded eyes, the taste of tequila still on my tongue as the woman I loved walked out of my life.

I never got to explain myself, I never got to say sorry.

I never truly got over her, there was a part of me that still loved her even now.

I know it was the right decision to focus on my music but I never wanted it to end like that....I never wanted to hurt her so badly.

Life isn't perfect, relationships aren't perfect and we all make mistakes.

I deserve a chance to at least speak with her, make amends.

Tonight was Jungkook's farewell party and of course Jin had invited me, I did sense reluctance on his part to invite me at first which made me wonder if Y/N had told him everything about our past relationship together.

I arrived at the huge house Jungkook shared with his brother and felt slightly intimidated, my little apartment was nothing compared to this.

I had money yet didn't feel the need for lavish surroundings, it just wasn't my style.

I took a deep breath and made my way to the main entrance, pausing when my eyes fell across a familiar figure.

"Y/N? What are you doing outside?"

I cocked my brow, mouth dropping open when she moved closer....she looked beautiful.

"I'm just getting some fresh air, it's so stuffy inside and this dress is far too tight. I feel like I can't breathe, who invited you?"

I could see the hate dancing around in her eyes, she had every right to still feel this way but now was the time for a second chance.

"Jin invited me, I overhead him talking on the phone with the caterer and asked about it."

Y/N gave a nod, looking away from me and up at the stars instead.

She looks sad....why?

"Y/N....are you okay?" I asked, genuinely concerned for the woman I still cared for.

"Why are you even asking me that? It's not like you give a shit Yoongi."

"Y/N, that's not fair."

"Oh, it's not huh? Tell me what's fair then! I tell you what's not fair, what's not fair is guys like you and Jungkook! You think it's okay to fuck around with people and dump them when you decide you want something different, like my feelings don't matter."

What was the deal with her and Jungkook?

I then noticed the empty wine glass in her hand which up until that moment had been concealed behind her....she was drunk.

"Y/N....how much have you had?"

I took a step closer and she shook her head.

"Stay there, don't come closer and what I'm drinking doesn't concern you."

"Why are you drinking so much?" I sighed, hating to see her like this.

"Oh let me think, could this have anything to do with the fact my douche bag ex boyfriend just appeared back in my life after four years of me trying to forget him. OR......!"

She shouted the 'or', stumbling a little as she poured more wine into her glass.

"Or....it might be the fact that Jeon douche Jungkook decided to do exactly what you did....and do you know what you did Yoongi?" She stumbled over to me and poked my chest, eyes full of tears.

"You broke my heart and didn't even say sorry....you made me feel like I was worthless....that I didn't deserve to be loved and now....guess what!" She laughed, it wasn't a genuine one.

"Jungkook has just confirmed that fact for me....that I'm nothing. I'm so easy for men like you and Jungkook to leave."

I felt my heart break, I never wanted to hurt her like this.

I felt her finger poke me in the chest again.

"You ruined me Yoongi.....you broke me."

That's when my heart broke for a second time.