Only In Jannah

15: Home

Ramadan Kareem
May the Peace and blessings of Allah be with you in this wonderful month and beyond. May Allah (SWT) grant us the goodness of this month and may HE help us achieve greatness and witness the night of Laylatul Qadr.

May Allah accept our Ibadah. Ameen.

👗HIDAYA👗

2018

Khalil huffed as he ran his palms down his face again "Wow, Hidaya. May their souls rest in paradise. I..." he dunked his head lower taking in a sharp breath, I dabbed under my eyes with wet piece of handkerchief that was soaked with the tears I had been shedding for the past two hours surprised I didn't get a headache. I never told my story to anyone, I didn't feel the need to burden the world with my problems or allow anybody to pity me. There was nothing to pity, death is inevitable and upon us all.

"I am so sorry" I was taken aback by feel of warmth, care and compassion when my husband sat beside me and pulled me to him. In that contact I experienced a degree of attachment beyond four months of being married, he didn't speak a word but as I listened to the soft beats of his heart I could hear everything he wanted to say. I knew I was home in his arms, that I was safe in his hold and that his heart carried enough love for me that none could ever understand.

"Its okay" I finally said "I'm fine" he slowly retracted from the hug as if realizing what he was doing and although I liked it there we still had a long way to go.

***

The next morning came too quick and before I was ready to go it was time to leave, suddenly it felt like 2013 all over again only this time I knew I wasn't making the same mistake of abandoning the second closest thing I had to family again.

Khalil was seated in the car waiting for me to finish my goodbyes. After retracting from the long bear hug Anty and I shared, she bade me farewell and Ibrahim walked me out of her room. Just at the stairway he stopped and so did I.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He sighed "You know I searched for you Hidaya, I did really. There was a time when it got unbearable, the pain and I called uncle Nuhu asking him if he knew anything about where you could be or if he knew your Uncle and his whereabouts. He sent me the address a few days later and I went down to Abuja but when I got to the house, I found out your Uncle and his family had just moved and the neighbours didn't provide any useful information since they didn't know me and couldn't risk handing me the address of an influential man like that but that didn't stop me... I kept on coming until I was arrested the third day for trespassing, they wouldn't let me bail myself out and luckily my father was in town so he did and forbade me from continuing the search.

I just don't get it Hidaya, why? Why would you delete us from your life like that? Did you even stop to think about my feelings? If I would be okay without you? Or the pain you made me go through? You only thought about yourself and what you thought was best for you, and now it hurts even more that I can't be there for you, that I can't be that shoulder to cry on, that I can't support you physically or maybe even emotionally because you're a married woman and it is your husbands duty, that I can't even be your best friend anymore-" he leaned back against the wall with his head thrown back and continued "You know that day when I heard about the crash I rushed to your house and found you unconscious, I was devastated and scared of what would happen when you woke up. I was with you the whole night until the next morning your uncle and his family arrived and I heard them discussing your fate, they didn't know what to do with you so I made up my mind.