Meredith And Nathan: fight for your L(ife)ove

She came back

Well, I guess everything was ok with Nathan. But there was something I still couldn't overcome. I figured it was my baby. But you know what they say: "put your game face on".
So I tried doing that, and I'm not sure whether it's working or not, but I don't have a plan B...

-Amelia, I'm so sorry about the other day, I-
-Oh, forget it. We're good, I shouldn't have said that, so forget it.
-I... how did you overcome your baby's death?
-I never did. That's the truth. But Meredith, at least you have Nathan. I had no one.
-Like me when Derek died?
-That was different. You didn't give him drugs, he didn't die because of you. And you weren't alone. You had me and practically all the hospital.
-Look at you being the sane one.
-Moments, I have moments.
-Thank you, Amelia.
-Oh, there's no need to.

At lunch...
-Hey! How is your day going so far?
-All things considered, pretty okay. What about you?
-All things considered, pretty okay too. Nathan, I'm sorry if I treated you like crap. I'm so sorry. I was out of control.
-Look, you don't have to do that. Everything is okay. We will be okay.
-I hope so...
-So, I know it might be a little rushed to talk about this, but if you want another baby, we can try. I'd love to have your children.
-Look, I don't think I'm ready yet. But we'll see, ok?
-Ok. I'd better get going now. I have a transplant in half an hour. Don't lose it, Mer.
-Go, see you home.
And in that same moment, my head made a click. It's incredible how one single word can change your way of seeing the world forever. "Don't lose it, Mer"

What would you do if your perfectly-planned life fell apart all of a sudden? What would your reaction be? The human brain, as a natural process, freaks out. Literally. Of course, wouldn't you? It's like when you build a house and a hurricane blows it away. It's like when your sandcastle is taken by the sea or by the wind. On the other hand, it is unexpected. Just like all the examples i've given you before. You just don't see it coming, and THAT is what hits us like a train. Not knowing, not being prepared to let go, that might just be the worst thing in the world. Oh sorry, i forgot. It fell apart. The world. You no longer have one.

So what do you do? You try to live in other people's worlds? Or try to build your own all over again? Knowing everything may fade again, why bother building it again? It's because if you don't try, you'll disappear in galaxy forever, metaphorically of course. And never be yourself again, literally of course.
So there was one thing I knew for sure. I didn't wanna lose myself. I cannot tell you I was all happy again, and unicorn vomit came out of my mouth. But at least the sky wasn't as dark as before. I saw light again. I found peace again. I would never see the world the same again.

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Author's note:
Sooo, in honor of part 20 I figured I'd make something more psychological haha. I hope you are liking the story so far, and I apologize for any grammar/spelling mistakes I might have, english isn't my first language, so I hope you understand.