Meredith And Nathan: fight for your L(ife)ove

When I'm not supposed to

I actually miss him, but I don't have time to think about it. I'm a thriving surgeon, mother of four, sister, and so so much more...
I was going into the attendings lounge when I heard a lot of screaming and yelling:

-But why don't you tell her!- Maggie asked in a really angrily loud voice.
-Because SHE left me! I wasn't the one who said we wouldn't make it, SHE broke my heart. And I'm tired, I wanna scream, until the whole building knows, but I can't. I'm a fool, she breaks my heart and yet I always go back to her. It's like I need her, but that just makes me look like an idiot Maggie.
-Come on! What if she told you she still loves you?
-I'm sure she does, yeah! But she had to break up with me. I know she still loves me, and so do I, but we hurt each other! We have to try to keep a distance from each other, forget about each other.
-How are you supposed to do that when you have a child together? You will NEVER forget each other. It's like you are meant to be!
-Ok so go tell that to Meredith.

Wait... Did they just say my name?

-Nathan, is really your pride gonna keep you from having the love of your life back?
-I'm not her one true love though, Derek was. And don't get me wrong, Maggie, I'm not trying to beat that. I just, I wish I could be good enough for her. But looks like I'm not, according to her. So I'd better move on, otherwise a heart will stop beating any minute, and I'm sure you know whose heart I'm talking about.
When I heard him coming towards the door, I stepped away a little. He looked sad, well rather defeated. Did I do this to him?

Later at lunch...

-Maggie! Wait for me, I need to talk to you.
-What is it Mer?
-I heard you, talking to Nathan earlier at the attendings lounge. He's sad, isn't he?
-He's destroyed, rather than sad. It's like you took a scalpel and stabbed it in his heart a million times until there was no more blood to take out of it.
-Ok how explicit, I get it, thanks. But the worst part is that I feel the same way. I want him, I need him. Yet I can't have him.
-You should really talk to him, like, reaallyyy.
-What? No, I'm not doing that.
-Oh you are so doing that
-I'm so not doing that
-You are, just go! Go get him back Mer! Run...
Before she even finished saying this, I was running out of the cafeteria. I needed to talk to him as soon as I could.
I was desperate, looking for him everywhere. Finally I found him, he was in supply closet numbre two:

-Nathan, I need to talk.
-Hi Mer, what is it?
-Stop pretending, Nathan
-Pretending what?
-That you wanna be friends with me. And before you even say a word, I heard you. I heard you talking with Maggie, so I know how you feel, and I'm so so sorry I broke your heart. I broke my heart too, so I know what it feels like. I can live without you, but I don't want to. I don't ever want to. And I'm not asking you to come home again, but we could try again. I just need to know I did all I could to save our love story. Because we deserve a happy ending for it.
-Mer, I... you said you didn't wanna fight anymore. That we were always fighting and that we wouldn't make it work. I was happy, and you made me sad. You broke me, and now you are asking me to be with you again. And the truth is, I don't wanna be the stupid fool that believes in you again and then gets played again.
-Get played? You cheated on me
-I did not, and I won't let you say that ever again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have surgery.
-Nathan wait, I said grabbing his arm, not letting go of it.
-Nathan, I know I'm the stupid bitch who broke your heart, but I wanna fix the broken pieces. Let me do that.
-I don't need your compassion, I don't need you to come fix me.
-Nathan! Wait. If you still love me, even if a tiny piece of your broken heart still does, stay here with me. And if you don't, look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me anymore.
But the truth is, I wanna hold you when I'm not supposed to. You are stuck in my head and I can't get you out of it. And before you say anything, I know I'm the one who messed up, but Nathan, aren't we all humans? Don't we all make mistakes?
Sometimes, mistakes are tiny, imperceptible, insignificant. But sometimes, they slam us right into the rocks...