Meredith And Nathan: fight for your L(ife)ove

Go on forever

After all, I was trying to step out of the carousel. We couldn't go on fighting, this couldn't go on forever.
But eventually, I'll be happy alone...
I went to the hospital, in my own car. We were no longer a couple with Nathan. This broke my heart but I could live without him. I didn't want to, but I could.
I arrived at work, and I immediately looket for either Maggie or Amelia. I hadn't told them about last night's argument.
-Hey, have you seen Amelia?
-Yes, she is in OR 2. Why do you have that look on your face?
-I- but my tears won against my words. I bursted out crying.
-Mer, what is wrong?- he hugged me.
-I told Nathan I wanted divorce.
-What? Why?
And I told him everything.
After that, I went to OR 2, and there she was. I opened the intercom and said:
-Amelia, will you be in there for too long?
-Nope, I have to close and I'll be right up.
-Ok, I need to talk to you.
When she came upstairs to the theater, I told her everything. She couldn't believe it, nor could I. But what's done is done, right?
I couldn't find Maggie though, so when my shift ended I went home and slept. When she arrived, I was woken up by the screeching noise of the door.
-Maggie, I need to talk to you.
-Hey, Amelia told me everything. How are you?
-I... I don't know. Maggie, I don't know.
-Aw Mer, don't cry again. Everything will be alright. You have me, Amelia, Alex.
-And I no longer have him. One less person to count on.
-No no no, look: the fact that you are divorcing him doesn't mean you don't love each other. There are couples which love each other and have to divorce because they just don't get on well. But you will always count on him, he doesn't have to be your enemy. Divorce doesn't mean hate. He's the father of your child, Mer. You will continue to talk to him. You'll see him for the rest of your life, at Aiden's birthday parties, at his wedding... you will be forever connected to him somehow...
Well, she really left me thinking. And she was right, divorce doesn't mean we hate each other. We are not separating because there is hate. There is love, I still love him as my husband. But we can't keep on fighting forever.
On the other hand, there is a struggle we have to face: suffering will be eternal. We will still love each other, but we won't be able to have each other as a couple.
So there's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't cause I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and then it fell apart, I might not make it.
It's easier to be alone, because what if you learn that you need love and you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it? What if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart?
Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? This could go on forever...
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Ok guys so I'm really sorry I did this to you, I hope you liked the ending bc it's a quote from Grey's by Meredith. Season two will have ten chapters so enjoy!! Season three will be up July 9th. I'm sorry it will take long, but when I rush, I don't do a good job.