Meredith And Nathan: fight for your L(ife)ove

The challenge is the mind

They say the soul usually knows what to do to heal itself, but the real challenge is the mind. That is right. That is so damn right.
Want me to give you some context? He's a fucking cheater, but let's not get ahead of ourselves.
Five months had passed since our wedding day, everything had been normal so far...
-Mer, I'm going to a conference in Washington tomorrow night, remember I told you?
-Yes, do you need me to help you pack?
-I think I have everything.
-Where did you say the conference was?
-Washington D.C. Why?
-Oh, nevermind.
Nevermind.
Nevermind.
Shoot I minded. I hope at least he doesn't cheat on me or gets hit by a truck...
-I'll go to sleep now honey. You should do that too, tomorrow will be a long day at the airport.
-You are right.-he said.
Next morning I prepared breakfast for the kids. Later we went to the hospital, what a long shift it would be.
-Hey so I'll meet you at the lobby at seven p.m to say goodbye.
-Ok, love you Mer.- he said.
-Love you too.
Love you too.
Love you too.
I needed to get to work, otherwise I would go crazy before he even left.
-Maggie! I need you
-Hey, what's wrong?
-So Nathan has this conference in Washington, and I'm scared he'll kiss another fellow or get hit by a truck.
-Oh I get it. Meredith, Nathan is not like Derek. He won't kiss a woman, he won't get hit by a truck, he won't die.
-So am I supposed to just lay low and watch my life run its bloody course?
-Bloody course? Mer don't say nonsense.
-Well, this conversation didn't help much, but thank you anyway. See you at lunch!
I left running, I needed to breathe fresh air. I needed to think.
Tears? What is this? I never cry. Meredith Grey isn't supposed to cry. Fuck off, who cares about what I'm supposed or not to do. I'm a person, I'm a human. I have feelings. And I'll break down crying. And I did.
The time arrived and I had to say goodbye to Nathan. I honestly didn't know whether this could be the last goodbye, the last kiss. You never know when the last one could be.
You never know.
You never know.
There are moments, moments that in a split second your life changes forever, and before you know it, you're somewhere else.
So I hugged him and kissed him as strong as I could, and then I let him go.
Let go.
Let go.
For some reason all the words I thought echoed in my mind.
I went back home, put the kids to bed and laid down on mine.
I had one nightmare after the other that night. It was nearly three a.m, when I woke up startled. That's when I remembered what Dr. Bailey had said once:
Bad dreams, bad dreams go away
Good dreams, good dreams here to stay.
I quickly fell asleep and woke up at seven. My day started without him.
Without him.
Without him.
Again? Seriously? I swear all this echoing needs to stop.
I decided to call him, and when he picked up, his voice had a very particular tone. Kinda like a woman's voice. Oh wait, it was a woman. My worst nightmare was becoming true.
-Where is Nathan?
-Hello?
-Who is this and why do you have Nathan's phone?
Did she just hang up? I guess she did. This was bad. This was really bad...