The Marauders Unite (III)

Snape's Worst Memory

May 2, 1976

FLITWICK: Quills down, please! That means you too, Stebbins! Please remain seated while I collect your parchments! Accio!

In the Great Hall, the Defense Against the Dark Arts O.W.L. has completed. FLITWICK summons the exams, which are so great in number that they nearly topple him over.

FLITWICK: (flustered) Thank you... thank you. Very well, everybody. You're free to go!

JAMES, SIRIUS, REMUS, and PETER stand up from their desks and converge together. Across the room, SEVERUS collects his paper and quietly exits the room.

SIRIUS: Did you like question ten, Moony?

REMUS: Loved it. "Give five signs that identify the werewolf". Excellent question.

JAMES: D'you think you managed to get all the signs?

REMUS: Think I did. One: he's sitting on my chair. Two: he's wearing my clothes. Three: his name's Remus Lupin.

PETER: (nervously) I got the snout shape, the pupils of the eyes and the tufted tail, but I couldn't think what else –

JAMES: How thick are you, Wormtail? You run round with a werewolf once a month –

REMUS: Keep your voice down.

REMUS nods towards SEVERUS, who continues walking somewhat close to them.

PETER: I don't think I agreed on these nicknames, either.

JAMES: Oh, come on. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs! The perfect Animagus squad.

SIRIUS: Well, I thought that paper was a piece of cake. I'll be surprised if I don't get "Outstanding" on it at least.

JAMES: Me too. (He takes out a Golden Snitch and begins playing with it).

SIRIUS: Where'd you get that?

JAMES: Nicked it.

They make their way outside and towards the beech tree by the lake. JAMES continues letting the Snitch fly away and them grabbing it with expert reflexes. PETER watches him admirably and cheers him on.

SIRIUS: (annoyed) Put that away, will you, before Wormtail wets himself with excitement.

JAMES: (grinning) If it bothers you. (He stows away the Snitch).

SIRIUS: I'm bored. Wish it was full moon.

REMUS: You might. We've still got Transfiguration, if you're bored you could test me. Here-

SIRIUS: I don't need to look at that rubbish, I know it all.

JAMES: This'll liven you up, Padfoot. Look who it is-

JAMES nods behind them, where SEVERUS sits in the grass not far away from them.

SIRIUS: Excellent. Snivellus.

JAMES: (loudly) All right, Snivellus?

SEVERUS glances at them, then quickly reaches for his wand.

JAMES: (removing his own wand) Expelliarmus!

SIRIUS: Nice one, James. Impedimenta!

Slowly, a crowd of students begin to circle around them, including MARY and MARLENE.

JAMES: How'd the exam go, Snivelly?

SIRIUS: I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment. There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.

Laughter erupts from the surrounding students. JAMES grins as well.

SEVERUS: You – wait. You – wait!

SIRIUS: Wait for what? What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?

SEVERUS begins launching a tirade of rude swear words and hexes.

JAMES: Wash out your mouth. Scourgify!

Pink bubbles begin to erupt from SEVERUS'S mouth. LILY, witnessing the act, runs forward and steps in between JAMES and SEVERUS.

LILY: (angrily) Leave him ALONE!

JAMES: (nervously) All right, Evans?'

LILY: Leave him alone. What's he done to you?

JAMES: Well, it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean-

LILY: You think you're so funny. But you're just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.

JAMES: I will if you go out with me, Evans. Go on- go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.

LILY: (coldly) I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.

SIRIUS: Bad luck, Prongs. Oi!

SEVERUS retrieves his wand and quickly fires a curse at JAMES, cutting his face.

JAMES: (angrily) Levicorpus!

Immediately, SEVERUS hangs upside down in midair, hs robes falling all around him.

LILY: Let him down!

JAMES: Certainly.

JAMES removes the curse, causing SEVERUS to fall down in a crumpled heap. He again attempts to raise his wand towards the Marauders.

SIRIUS: (quickly) Petrificus Totalus!

SEVERUS goes stiff as a board under the effects of the Body-Bind Curse.

LILY: (furiously) LEAVE HIM ALONE!

JAMES: Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you.

LILY: Take the curse off him, then!

JAMES sighs deeply, then turns to SEVERUS and mutters the counter-curse.

JAMES: There you go. You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus–

SEVERUS: I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!

An audible gasp is heard from the crowd at the sound of the derogatory term. LILY looks at SEVERUS, visibly hurt.

LILY: Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.

JAMES: (angrily) Apologise to Evans!

LILY: I don't want you to make him apologise. You're as bad as he is.

JAMES: (bewildered) What? I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!

LILY: Oh, please! Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!

JAMES: Evans! Hey, EVANS!

LILY ignores him and continues up the hill.

JAMES: What is it with her?

SIRIUS: Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate.

JAMES: Right. Right, well- who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?

Some of the crowd cheers JAMES on, while others walk away from the scene. MARLENE and MARY share a worried glance and quickly follow LILY towards the Castle.