Sidemen Imagines

How Could You (3)

You cried into Simon's chest as he continuously tried to say reassuring things, his hand on the back of your head to keep you feeling secure, helping you calm down enough to talk through what happened.

"Did you know?" You asked, tears spilling like a broken tap and a pout to break anyone's heart.

"No, I swear I had no clue, I knew him and Natasha were friends but like, close? I had no clue, honestly" he wiped away a few of your tears but it was no use, at this rate your cheeks would never be dry again.

"So what's going on? He didn't kick you out right?" He asked timidly, probably afraid to make you cry more.

"Well I'm pretty sure it's over. Don't know if we're going to talk about it but he said he wants me gone by the time he's back from LA" you mumbled, picking at your nail polish while Simon nodded solemnly, a sad smile present on his lips. You paused for a minute before a wave of emotions poured through you.

"Why would he do this to me?" Your voice shook as another bout of sobs started to slip from your body, Simon was quick to sit you down on the bed so he could put an arm around you.

"I don't know, Y/N, he's a prick. You're a very beautiful girl, someone any guy should feel lucky to call theirs. JJ is stupid to even risk you walking out for a single night. You're smart, wonderful, kind and never in a million years should you deserve this type of shit" his words were soft and lingered in your mind for a moment.

You looked up at Simon and gave a half smile, thinking over all the lovely things that he had said about you with his arms cradling you gently, calming you down significantly. JJ definitely was a dick but at least someone was capable of being kind to you.

"Thank you" you whispered, feeling the anger and bitterness fade somewhat, instead you were filled with tiredness and a warmth inside your chest from the things Simon had said.

He looked at you with soft eyes and suddenly you felt your heart shift. You stared into his eyes but flickered to his lips that curved into a warm smile, his smile slowly slipped as he sensed the atmosphere in the room.

You slowly leaned in and gently pressed your lips against his, feeling his start to reciprocate. Your lips moved together in a slow kiss while your hands cupped his cheeks.

You pulled away and stared into each other's eyes, both with a timid yet passionate expression. You felt yourself wanting to lean in again as your mind began to fixate on the idea. Simon exhaled heavily before standing up quickly. Pausing with his back to you and running his fingers through his hair.

"Uh. It's pretty late." He said quietly with a sternness in his voice. You started to feel something growing in your chest that you couldn't quite figure out, quickly assuming it was regret. You bit your lip before standing.

"Sorry I'll just- I'll go" you mumbled, an awkward stumble in your walk towards the door.

"No. I don't think you should be alone tonight. You can sleep in my bed while I edit. When I'm tired I'll sleep on the floor" he walked over to his desk and pulled out a notebook, you assumed it was to do with the video.

"But there's a guest room upstairs that I don't mind sleeping in, I mean it would save you sleeping on the floor" you said with furrowed eyebrows, a guilty feeling laying heavy in your stomach.

"And let you cry yourself to sleep in a dark empty room? I would feel awful" he stated, moving over to his wardrobe where he pulled out a shirt and chucked it at you.

"Okay" you mumbled, confusion and shyness coming over you as you walked over to the bed. You took off your shoes and jacket and laid them on the end of the bed, you started undoing your belt when you looked up and saw Simon almost staring at you from his desk, you immediately caught eyes and stared at each other with a heavy feeling in the room.

"I'm gonna take a shower" he coughed out nervously, grabbing his phone and basically sprinting out of the room, he shut the door as you let out a massive sigh. You were in a whirlwind of emotions and feelings that you didn't know what to do. It felt like your brain had switched off at the front door.

You undressed and put the shirt on before climbing into bed, staring at the ceiling while you tried to get your head straight.

Why did you kiss him?
Do you like him?
Do you still love JJ?
This is JJ's best friend.
This is wrong.
But you don't want to put a stop to it.
Does JJ still love you?
If he did then why did he cheat?
Does Simon like you?
If he didn't then why did he kiss back?

Your head felt full, JJ cheated and asked you to move out so obviously doesn't want you anymore, Simon was lovely and sweet and comforting, kissing him felt right but you couldn't help feeling the strong weight of guilt in your chest and you didn't know why. Maybe it was because it was too soon after being with JJ and with his best friend.

Yeah this definitely doesn't feel right.

You couldn't focus, on the one hand JJ's a dick, on the other Simon is wonderful. But it was all too messed up and you knew you weren't in the right headspace to think about this yet, you shook your head and shut your eyes, surprisingly quickly drifting off into a deep sleep. Promising yourself to think it through in the morning.

Simons P.O.V

I got to the bathroom and put down my phone, grabbing the sides of the sink and staring at myself in the mirror.

What the fuck just happened?!

I brought my hands up and held my head, thinking about the last couple of hours, how much of a rollercoaster tonight had been. I couldn't straighten my thoughts over Y/N and that kiss.

Do I like her?

I know she's a great girl, we've always got on, she's funny and makes me laugh, she's got a beautiful smile that always cheers me up, an amazing body and the best personality.

But it's Y/N.

Do I like her like I wanna date her or am I being as big of a dick as JJ is to her? I don't wanna hurt her but at the same time I wanna walk back in that room and kiss her again.

But what about JJ?

I had to walk past JJ's room to get to the bathroom and I don't think I've ever felt a heavier case of guilt in my life. They're not together anymore but I still feel like she's JJ's girl. She's always been JJ's girl, always been his, she always put up with his shitty behaviour and she always gave him the world.

I can't figure out what was going on in my head, but I do know I need to talk to her, I need to see where she stands before I can even consult my own brain.

I walked back to the bedroom with a pounding heart and a lump in my throat. I hesitated at the door knob before entering to find her asleep, her mouth slightly open and tiny snores coming from her boy. I felt my whole body relax as I looked at her.

I don't know what my feelings are yet, but right now they don't matter.

I climbed into the bed next to her and placed my hand on her cheek, a dozy smile rising on her features.

"Sweet dreams, gorgeous" I whispered before I felt my eye lids getting heavy, slowly closing before my whole body relaxed into slumber.