Sidemen Imagines

How Could You (4)

Your P.O.V

You woke up that morning with puffy eyes and a sore throat. A heavy feeling in your chest and an ache in your head. You also felt an arm curving around your waist and heavy breathing on the back of your neck, slowly turning around to see Simon sleeping softly behind you.

A small jolt of worry went through you as you wondered why he was in bed with you. As you adjusted to the day your head began remembering all the events of the previous night, all the sadness and betrayal, as well as the passion that happened at the end of this very bed.

That thought had haunted you most of the night, you were having dream upon dream upon dream, all about Simon and wanting him but at the same time you didn't. Or at least you think you didn't. It's not very clear really.

You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and rubbed your eyes, feeling the dry patches where your tears had cascaded. You checked the time and groaned as it was only 6:30, you'd only had about 4 hours sleep but somehow felt more awake than you've ever felt when waking up. You slowly get up and put on a pair of Simons shorts that were laying around by his wardrobe, he was always like that, he would go through all the effort of washing and drying and ironing, but that last little bit of putting them away was seemingly too much and clean fresh clothes would always end up on the floor.

You opened his bedroom door on your way to the bathroom and noticed JJ's suitcase, you closed the door and started walking towards the bathroom, annoyingly having to walk past his open bedroom door. As you passed it you glanced in and saw him looking through his bedside table, your presence caught his attention and his body stiffened.

"Why are you wearing Simons stuff?" He asked firmly.

"I didn't think I was allowed to come and get my own pyjamas." You said dryly. Your tired tone making him bite his lip, you assumed in annoyance.

"I thought you'd already left" you said, immediately regretting starting up small talk, by the looks of it he wasn't fond of it either. He grumbled before mumbling his reply

"Can't find my passport so missed my flight, as soon as I find it I have to go to the airport and find another flight" you watched him dig around his drawer for a second, watching him angrily shove everything about and frown.

"Try the bottom drawer of your desk" you muttered. He stared at you as he chewed his cheek, wondering if he should give you the satisfaction of looking. Fortunately his desire of getting out of this house as soon as possible made him begrudgingly turn around and rip open the drawer where his passport lay waiting.

He slowly picked it up and tapped it a few times in his palm, biting his lip and breathing heavily. You had a twinkle of "told you so" in your eyes that he was desperately trying not to look into. Suddenly he tutted his tongue again and kicked the drawer shut, grabbing his sports bag and storming towards you.

He silently shoved past you and shut his door before grabbing his suitcase and simply leaving. Not even a goodbye. You stood at the top of the stairs staring at the front door for a long time, anxiously rubbing your hands together with a sorrowful look on your features.

After a minute or two you eventually made your way to the bathroom and hopped into the shower. The water running down your skin as you thought about your own life. All the changes that are suddenly being forced upon you and how hopeless you really feel right now. For a moment Simon popped into your head again and you felt a sudden lightness in your stomach, you pictured his caring smile and imagined the embrace he held you in last night and everything suddenly felt warm and tingly.

You quickly remembered what was happening and shoved those feelings to the back of your mind. Not allowing yourself to think about Simon in that way until you had moved on from everything that happened between you and JJ. You sighed a disgruntled sigh and shut off the water, climbing out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a fuzzy blue towel.

After dabbing yourself with another towel for a bit you eventually made your way towards your room. Well. JJ's room. You clutched at the towel around you before entering his room, it felt weird. You've done it a million times before but now it felt wrong, like you weren't allowed to be there even though all your stuff is in here.

You opened his wardrobe and plucked out a few things, you held them in your hand and sighed gently before looking up at the rest of your clothes, all hanging there, now waiting to be packed up and taken somewhere new. You slowly turned around and began spying all the little ornaments, trinkets and decoration that you had dotted all around the room. How personal and homely it all looked, only soon to be taken all away. You imagined how bare this place is gonna look and wondered if JJ would care. If the emptiness would hurt, if the lack of you around him would even bother him at all.

A small pearly tear slipped down your cheek as you held your shirt and jeans to your chest, a silent sob coming out while you slowly backed up to sit at the edge of the bed. You really had to leave, you really had to separate everything in this room from his and yours and start all over again. It hurt. You looked down at the sheets and pictured what happened last night, a small feeling of nausea in the pit of your stomach, you gulped and shut your eyes, turning away and letting out a shaky breath.

"I can help you pack if you want." A low, gentle voice at the door. You looked up and into the bloodshot, tired eyes of Simon and a tender smile appeared on your lips as you nodded.

"Can't quite believe I actually have to" you chuckled dryly, a sad smile forming on Simons face as he came to sit next to you.

"I know, me neither. But you know I'm here, I'll help you look for a place to stay, I'll be your shoulder to cry on, anything, honestly. I can't believe the shit JJ did to you and I genuinely want to support you" he rubbed your back in small circles as you smiled at him.

"I really appreciate that, thank you Simon" you looked up into his eyes and suddenly you felt connected again, as if there was a rope around you both and it suddenly began tightening.

"I'll let you get dressed" Simon said, his voice barely there. He pursed his lips and got up to leave, closing the door behind him.

You chewed on your bottom lip as your eyebrows were curved into a frown.

Guess this is the start of your new life.