Wonders of Being Me (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter Thirty One: Heart Breaking

She stands there, a hand on her hip as if she was the one dating Luke; upset because she was the one he wasn't texting.

"Sarah?" of course the confused girlfriend speaks up, I'm confused to as why she was here. My life seemed to be getting back on track with me dating Luke and Taylor finally being content.

"What kind of name is Sarah?" She says and I give her a confused look before I give that same look to Luke who's eyes widen and jaw tightens.

"That's your name?" I say, maybe she was on some drug trip. It doesn't seem fully unlikely, she was one of those girls that act dumb around guys and sleeps with everything that walks. You never really know her next move. I haven't seen her since she shoved me into a locker and when Luke was still trying to seduce me with a character version of himself.

"Get your facts right Hazel, it's Jessica." She says and turns her attention back on Luke.

"So you think you could use me for a fucking bit and then throw me to the side? Like what we did wasn't anything emotional?" She scoffs and Luke still doesn't say anything.

"Luke?" I feel my eyes burn and maybe I'm going to cry but I wasn't going to until I knew the entire story. I wasn't going to cry if this was another act.

"Her name is Jessica." He says and that doesn't bother me. I don't care that he lied about her name, in fact I couldn't care less about that but the words Jessica used about whatever they did being "emotional" is the reason that my eyes are burning.

"Dude, you lied about Jessica?" Michael says and I can hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Shut up Michael." Ashton scolds him while Taylor and Maddy look at me; worried for me.

"Will you please explain, Luke?" I beg but stand up. I have this feeling that I couldn't be near him, like he betrayed me and everything in me was saying to get away from him, I just didn't know why yet. I don't know the story but something in me kicked in; screaming that he was a betrayer. There was a weird pain settling in my heart and mind, I have never felt this before but whatever the fuck it was, I didn't like it.

"Yea Luke, explain to your girlfriend what happened between us!" Jessica shouts at him and the rage I have for Luke; I throw at her.

"Look, Jessica, I don't know you, nor do I care to, but for one fucking second shut that fucking trap of yours so I can hear my boyfriend explain your unlikely presence!" I scream at her; gasping as I used all my breath and energy to unleash a rather calm-angry version of me. I have flipped out many times; this time being one of my calmer acts. I think the only reason I didn't go full throttle on her ass was because I still didn't understand the entire story just yet.

The pain grows deep and makes my eyes burn even more. What the fuck was this that I was feeling? I don't like it, I want it to go away. Why am I acting like this? I don't even know what the hell is going on yet this feeling in my chest won't let up and my eyes burn like God himself set them on fire.

Luke stands and approaches me; reaching his hand out for mine but I back away. That pain goes to a level that I can't bare. I don't like this pain and I don't understand it. I don't understand anything right now. There is a strong possibility that I may be over reacting but this pain in my chest was making me think things through differently and I didn't like it. I wanted the old way that I thought, I wanted that way where it wasn't so painful to hear that Luke and this... this... whore had a thing.

"Luke you better start fucking talking." I say and feel the burning in my eyes intensify. Holding back tears was always more painful than the actual feeling of crying. I know I didn't want to hear what he had to say but I needed to.

"Hazel, I can explain-"

"Then fucking start Luke because my patience for you is running very thin." I cut him off, not intentionally but maybe there was a deeper thought to it than I was letting myself believe. Maybe this was her plan; Luke said she liked him. Maybe she wanted us apart. I still needed to know.

"We had a thing-"

"Oh it was more than a thing buddy boy and you fucking know it. Your boyfriend here has been kissing me and leading me on long before and even after you showed up." Jessica says and she walks towards Luke, "Don't bother calling me after she dumps your sorry ass because I won't be your rebound, not this time." she says and storms off; leaving me beyond pissed.

"Hazel, I know how this seems but I can explain."

My heart sinks and I now know what that pain was; my heart breaking. So many emotions run through me, rebound? The words she said, could they be true? Would Luke do this to me? I don't know, I think at one point during this entire conversation I thought that Luke was cheating on me. I thought that's why Jessica showed up, I think that's just a natural instinct but I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to live in constant fear that my boyfriend could cheat on me. How could he cheat on me? After all that shit that happened with Taylor, how could he do this to me?

"No Luke save yourself the trouble." I say and pick up my bag. That pain isn't going away, maybe if I leave it will go away. I don't like it, it's like a thousand people are just stomping on my heart and everytime I look at Luke, it's like those thousand people are setting it on fire.

I sling it over my shoulder and begin to walk away. I turn around, "Leave me alone; don't call me, don't text me, don't even fucking breathe near me. My life has been hard enough without you keeping shit from me."

If Luke and Jessica were making me feel this pain -making my heart break- then I didn't want to be near them, I can't stand it. It's like my world has come crashing down on me and I only felt this way once before in my entire life; my father's death. But even in his death, the pain wasn't like this. Why is this pain so different?

I walk away and force myself to not look back. I'm officially crying now and the one or two tears turn into a stream with my rapid breaths and I've only cried like this once before I met Luke.

How could Luke do this to me? How could he break my heart?

I'm not sure of my surroundings but that doesn't stop me from sitting up against a building and letting myself cry until the tears won't fall. Now all I was doing was hyperventilating but why? Why was I feeling like this? Why was this such a big deal? Why does my heart feel like this? Why does Luke have this affect on me?

"No." I whisper to myself, officially loosing any piece of sanity that I had. My crying starts up again, the tears feeling heavy with sadness as I realized why I was acting like this; feeling like this.

I was in love with Luke.

(Well, this was rather sad for me to write but for one reason; I could actually feel that pain and I have only been cheated on once but I didn't love him. Whatever pain I was feeling, I hope is not how it really feels because writing this; I could feel my heart breaking and I hated it. Don't worry, the drama is only begining! >:) )