Wonders of Being Me (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter Thirty Three: I Truly Love Luke

How was I supposed to feel about this? What was I supposed to say to Luke after everything that just happened? That's the thing, I didn't say anything to him after this.

I stayed cooped up in my room, too embarrassed to talk to him. How could I confront him? I just sat there thinking about how he broke my heart and how I thought he cheated on me when he says he didn't. Was I supposed to believe him? I wanted to, God did I want to but it was so hard.

I really hope I could trust Luke right now because I knew that if I didn't forgive him that it would weigh on my heart and it woud hurt more than the actual heart break itself. It was just too awkward to talk to him right now; he more than likely was still downstairs. Taylor hasn't come home yet, being one in the morning, I was concerned for her but maybe she was having fun. Who was I to ruin her fun?

"Hazel?" I hear her shout and come up the stairs. Something in me is mad at her for leaving me alone all this time but then there is the other part of me that is so happy that she is finally home.

She walks into my room, she gives me a small smile before closing the door and sitting on my bed with me.

"I saw Luke downstairs, whatever you did to him you did it good." She says and laughs a bit before placing a hand on my shoulder.

Any anger I had for her disappears and I spill everything I can. I tell her about how he said he loved me and how he hasn't even talked to Jessica since we became a couple; Taylor was always good at listening. She smiled and rubbed my back as I spoke and cry to her.

"What do I do Taylor?" I ask her, the tears have dried but I'm still left puzzled. I didn't know what I was supposed to do. Everything in me was screaming to just forgive Luke but mentally I knew that this same thing could happen again.

"You follow your heart, Hazel." She says like that's really going to help me. "It sounds cliche and it also sounds like it won't work but if you want to forgive him and believe him; then do it. Don't sit here and think about how the situation could've gone but sit here and think about how it didn't go. If you trust him and he says he didn't cheat on you, then believe him." She says and smiles at me. I offer her one back but it wasn't really helping me out. I do trust Luke and I do believe him but I was more concerned with how he felt with me. What if he was mad about me thinking he cheated on me? And to add the Ashton business on top of this, he was going to hate me.

I was being a hypocrite. I was doing the exact same thing with Ashton as he did with Jessica; I had no right to be mad at him. I had absolutely no right to be mad at Luke for this because I was doing the same thing with his best friend.

This made me feel a thousand times better, knowing that I did the same thing to Luke made me feel better about the situation. It sounds crazy but it put my mind at ease. I know that I need to forgive him and forgive myself; put this behind me. If I wanted to forgive something for Luke's past then he was going to do the same thing for me when he finds out about Ashton.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" She asks me and I shake my head, "No, I need to talk to him."

"Alright, I love you Hazel." She says and pulls me in for a hug.

I make my way downstairs and see Luke sitting there on the couch; hands covering his face. This was making me feel bad. He shouldn't feel like this and it was my fault for making such a big deal out of this when it was nothing. I guess I was just jealous and that's exactly what I was going to tell him.

"Hazel." He says when he finally sees me walking down the steps.

"Hazel, I'm so sorry." He says and practically runs up to me; pulling me into one of his bear hugs. I smile into it, forgetting what just happened and just loving the moment with Luke.

"Don't be sorry Luke." I say and pull from his embrace, putting one hand on his cheek and caressing it.

"But I am, I shouldn't have lied to you Hazel when I'm so crazy about you."

"It's not a big deal, Luke, really. It happened before me, that's what you said. I believe you and that's all that matters. Don't feel sorry, you didn't do anything wrong." I say and smile, I felt better letting this off my chest.

"I love you Hazel." He says and pulls me back into the embrace. My heart momentarily stops as he says those words again.

I begin to question myself; Do I really love him back? Was this just lust? Did Luke actually love me?

"Luke, I-"

"You don't have to say it back." He mumbles, "I love you and that's all that matters to me."

I sigh, I really wanted to say it back. "Luke, I think I love you."

"Hazel, I know I love you." He chuckles but he was making me feel even worse.

"Luke, stop." I complain and pull away from him. "Stop what?" He says and reaches for my hand.

"You're making me feel bad. You keep saying you love me and I haven't said it back yet." I say and feel a bit ashamed.

"It's just that I never had a boyfriend and I don't know if what I feel for you is love or not. But as of right now, this feeling I have for you is undeniable so I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's love." I admit out loud and a smile is on Luke's face.

"If it isn't I think I would know but Luke," I begin and he steps forward to place his other hand on my cheek, "I love you."

It felt amazing to say it; to acknowledge it. I really do love Luke, and now that I think of it, I don't even know why I doubted myself. He makes me so crazy and everything he does makes me love him more, this was just a bump in the road; like many relationships will have and we will get over it. I know we will because I truly love Luke and he loves me.

"Finally." He says and puts his lips on mine as a happy tear falls down my cheek. I really do love Luke and it's good that he loves me because I was going to need that leverage for what was about to come next.

(If you can't tell, I feel like I am rushing to end this and I need to take my time to make you guys feel like they do but it's really hard. Anyways, only like 5 to 6 more chapters left... Then it's over with.. :/ It's alright though, it was getting sucky at the end anyways. Thanks for all the views and votes even though this story was absolutely terrible.

Thanks and you've come this far, might as well read until my last chapter which is coming so soon. Love you guys, keep reading! :) )