Wonders of Being Me (Luke Hemmings)

Chapter Thirty Six: I'm A Mess

"Hazel, please call me." Luke's voice plays through my phone. I didn't want to listen to them, I didn't want to hear his voice. I couldn't do this anymore. I loved Luke, I still do but the fact that he would do that to me makes me wonder why me? What wonders could I go through for this to happen? The wonders of being me wasn't good at all. No wondering, no happiness, right now it seemed I couldn't be in any more possible pain.

I was heart broken.

I only listened to his voice-mails he left because there was still that small part of me that wanted to forgive him. Fuck, I wanted to forgive him so badly. I needed Luke, no, I'm in love with Luke and it kills me that we are in the point of our relationship; no longer in a relationship.

"Fuck, I just want this to end." I exclaim to whoever was in the house. No one was home though. I can't get over this, this pain in my heart right now is so unbearable. It's gotten to the point where I cry without tears, I have used all of them. Now, it's just pain, pain and more pain in replace of what my tears would have done.

A day, a day since this happened. No one prepared me for this, no one could. I thought, with all the books I grew up reading, that all heart breaks where over quickly and then there was another guy waiting around the corner. Now, I live in the fucking real world and shit doesn't happen like that. You don't cry for a few hours and then it's onto the next guy; you cry and cry until you can't cry anymore. You stop crying for a few minutes and then these fucking magical tears come out of nowhere to add more pain onto what you're already feeling. And just when you think the pain coudn't get worse, it does because you think about all the things you could've said to prevent what happened.

I regret a lot during that conversation, I shouldn't have told him that I wished I loved Ashton, that wasn't right of me. It wasn't right of him to kiss-

I can't even think about it without crying again, those fucking magical tears show up for like the tenth time as I cry again.

I hate love, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. I never want to fall in love again, this wasn't fair. I want love, I didn't want this pain that was left after love.

(Hahahaha, I know this is a short update buuuuuttt, I have to give you filler details on how Hazel is feeling!

I have decided something guys....... I'M NOT ENDING THE STORY!!

YAYAYAYAYAYAY! xD I can't end it yet! I have too many things going on with this story to just end it! But Maddy is gonna be mad at me because this is not what she expecting for an update but you get what you get! :P

SHE PUT ME IN HER BOOK! GUYS! Go and read, I Really Don't Care by fangrrling because the writer of this story is in it as Cristina! :D

Anyways, this won't affect when I next update! I will still update on my bday so this was just a filler because I wanted you to know how sad Hazel is right now!

Thanks so much! Please check out The Polymorph by lou_boos_wife (ME) because I love it sooooooo much!

Thanks so much! <3)