You'll Be In My Heart

Chapter 15

The morning has been a long and flustering battle between other people and I plus myself and this baby. I fear every moment with this baby from here on out will be a battle between mommy and daddy. With every fiber of my being I hope that maybe the approaching strike of noon will better the day.

Basically, it's been shit in layman's terms. Utter shit all morning.

First Emma and Marshall got in a screaming match over who's going to my first appointment and the doctor I'll be visiting through the pregnancy.

Let's start with the first fact that Emma wants to be the one to go to the appointment with me because she is basically my sister. Do I even have to state Marshall's reasons for wanting to go? It's his fucking baby, but that doesn't matter to Emma... that doesn't seem to matter to anyone including him. Whatever.

Onto the doctor they want me to see. Marshall has one picked out, some doctor he met over some other situation, but Emma wants me to go back to the one that told me I was pregnant to begin with. Dr. Appary or whatever. Look as long as this dude can tell me the baby is okay and doing perfect where it is in it's stages then I don't give a fuck who or where he or she is.

Next Marshall is driving me to work at eight in morning after a good three hour cuddle on the couch together. Everything is going great I'm hugging his arm, kissing on his cheek, and telling him how handsome he looks in the outfit he threw on today and what does he do? He brings up last night's fight and it turns into him and I yelling at each other in the parking lot in front of five of my fellow writers.

So instead of getting lunch with him and all that shit I was planning while half asleep laying up behind him this morning I'm gonna isolate myself in my office all day and go home with Tommy. I love Tommy to death I absolutely do, I'd rather not go home with him when I could be riding with the father of my unborn baby! I'd rather Marshall stop acting like this fucking asshole breed of himself and just man up and be there for the baby like a normal person.

Now... my favorite part of my shit morning if I may add as a personal flavor... I've spent the better time of three hours working on Marshall and my story book thing. So yes I can hear my boss now. You've been working on a project you're not publishing instead of giving me the script you promised me in a month. Yeah. That'll be my answer just a long drawn out yeah.

That should just be my answer for the rest of days. Emma asks me what doctor I want and I'm gonna mumble yeah. Marshall says why won't you tell me you love me and I'm gonna say yeah. My mom asks when I'm coming to visit and I'm gonna mumble yeah. Dad asks about my pregnancy rumor, but doesn't ask that basic and yes no question instead wants a drawn out conclusion I'm gonna whisper yeah. Yeah is now my universal escape goat.

"Miah?".

I snap myself into reality much like Marshall's catchy little song, come on everyone knows it, with a realization that Tommy is peeking into my doorway with his eyes worried and focused hard on me, "hmm, you okay?".

"I'm great... are you?"

"Mhm."

"And- you and Em okay?"

"Emma or Eminem?"

"Eminem."

"I guess okay as we normally are, why?".

He comes into the room pulling my door shut all the way with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and his phone, lit up with a long paragraph text on his screen, in the other.

I look the short cut sunflowers up and down examining the way their yellow brightens my room and makes it seem less depressing in some twisted way to me. My room has every color known to man in it somewhere in any corner. Yet something about these flowers drain some depressing air from everything. Maybe it's just me- it has to be.