You'll Be In My Heart

Chapter 37

November 21 (Eight Months pregnant)... Michigan.

"Hell Yeah I did."

"So why is my plant dead?"

"Because you have bad juju... he has bad juju Miah really. I have the green thumb in the family."

"You're about to have a bloody body next, Hailie gave me this plant when she was in kindergarten."

"Shit Marshall, I didn't know it was that plant. I'm sorry... really. But I'm not taking back the bad juju comment... or that you smell like a fag or... that you have a weird beard.".

As the words slip his lips Marshall turns from his wilting plant to the guy with this deathly look in his eyes. He laughs a bit and sort of hides behind me... like I'm gonna do something. I agree with Marshall's look, the weird beard comment was too much and way too far. Even for family.

"Stop hiding behind her Nate what the hell is wrong with you." Marshall mumbles stepping away from the plant and gently pulling me by my hand to him.

He doesn't wrap his arms around me or even hug or kiss me like he normally does, I know the issue. It might be his brother, but he's still being overprotective. That's just how it has to be.

Nate smiles a little to us, letting this weird silence fill the air. It's not awkward, but it's not good. I know this silence wouldn't be here if I weren't here. God in fucking Michigan.

"So my plant is dead, but is my cat still alive?"

"Your plant isn't dead... it's just not doing as well as it was."

"Nate.".

It's different being here. It's a good different, but still nerve racking all the same. Michigan is truly beautiful and I love all the trees same as all the sky scrapers in New York. It's clean, it has this whole nature rejuvenation feel, it's quiet... it's fucking freezing also. In case no one saw that coming. It's 14°F as the high today and it's only November. That's fun. Besides the two inch layer of ice over the state I have no complaints for being here.

But am I afraid to be here? Hell yes. This is Marshall's home, we're in Nate's home right now, but this whole state is stamped with Marshall's initials. You don't think of Michigan without thinking about it's most beloved son Eminem. Do you? No I didn't think you did.

I'm not worried about Marshall acting different being here, in complete honesty he's had a pep in his step ever since the plane landed. So why am I worried? Let em explain. It's November 21st today and tomorrow is the 22nd...Thanksgiving Day. With Kim. With Nate. With Ashley. With Hailie. With Lainey. With Whitney. With his family.

I'm terrified.

I force myself out of my head before I start panicking and hyperventilating in front of Nate. It's one thing if Marshall watches me freak out, but another if it's in front of his baby brother.

Nate is rambling on about something and Marshall is paying complete attention to him, but not saying a word. Every now and then Nate's eyes will hit me for a moment till he looks back to Marshall and starts waving his hands around like a lunatic.

Well like Marshall more or less. You can tell Marshall raised him. It's in every little way Nate performs and acts and speaks and exists. It's adorable to see how much Marshall cares for him and how he literally raised him, but I hate it for them since I know their mother didn't care enough to do her job. Or maybe she did and just couldn't I don't know, I'm never going to meet her.

"So you know what I'm saying Em, that's bullshit and Ashley has every right to get her daughter on Christmas too."

"Yeah she does, but I'm not trying to get in the middle of this shit with her and him."