You'll Be In My Heart

Chapter 20

One week later.
May 23, 2018.

The roads here are so much less crowded than they are in New York. I can breath and there's room for me to see the street without having some guy on my ass honking at me. There's one good thing I can already give Maryland.

Miah and I packed up the car last night, got up this morning at nine, and we're about an hour outside of her home town now. She hasn't said much after we stopped for breakfast at McDonald's. She quietly ate her hash brown then laid her head against the window and hasn't moved since.

I poked her a couple times just to make sure she was alive, but she just gave me a dirty look at me or moved away. Or did both really. The closer we get to Hell the more noticeably pissed off she gets and the more anxious and shit. Miah is not having it and if she wasn't pregnant then I guarantee she never would return to this place.

I understand. I really do man. Every time I run into my mom, rarely you know, I feel so fucking overwhelmed and so weird about everything. I hug her and tell her I love her every time, but I don't know- I feel like shit after. Seeing her makes me live through so much stuff again.

Her telling me it should've been me that died instead of Ronnie. Her yelling at me repeatedly for the smallest things I've done. Her pushing Nate off on me so she can go fuck around, play bingo, or go get drunk. All the same she's my mother and I love her. I do love her.

That shit sometimes happens with Nate too. When I see him or he does something that reminds me of when he was a baby I get sick to my stomach and try to avoid him for the rest of the day. I remember he did that a few weeks back when we were talking about Miah and the baby.

He sneezed and whenever he was younger he would reach out to me to hold his hand when he did it so he wouldn't fall so when that hand came to me I caught it and held it for a moment till I realized what was happening. When I let it go he kinda fell towards me a little, but caught himself and instead stared at me weird.

I stayed away from him for the rest of the day. Not really out of any weird emotional damage, but every time I would walk downstairs he would try to talk to me and I couldn't look at him without getting weird. I can't explain the feeling I just felt... horrible being around him. Seeing him this old and me being this old. Everything. It made me feel like shit.

"The next station coming up you should probably get gas since it's cheaper." Miah mumbles bitterly pulling me from my thoughts abruptly and worried.

She's been bitchy all morning. What the hell happened to her apology about acting like this last week. Damn. It's hormones Marshall. That's all it is. Find a way to make her smile and laugh, bring out that happy Miah I fell for.

"Would it be funny if I threw that box of nachos at the guy behind us? It splatter on his windshield and he'd crash and die.".

"It'd be funny to you since you're not pregnant and craving them.".

I look at her as she's staring at me and smiling kind of sideways and bitchy at me. I roll my eyes and look back out the window, "whatever.".

I don't give a shit how far she is into this pregnancy or how much hormonal whatever is in her body I will really fucking hit a bitch if she doesn't straighten her ass out by tonight. I can't take her parents on my by myself and if she's gonna act like this then her parents are gonna act like this and I'm fucked.

No Marshall ask her what's wrong and get to the bottom of it. It's probably just the stress of this trip and not you.

"Miah?" I mumble, "You okay?".

"I'm fine."

"You don't sound fine."

"Who are you Dr. Phil? Honestly though I would be hype if you were doctor Phil that man is a god."