You'll Be In My Heart

Chapter 19

MARSHALL'S POV.
Present. 12:34am.

A soft whisper fills my ears and the darkness as two small hands gently shake my chest. I was asleep and dreaming peacefully about- something that I can't remember, but I know it was... something. Whatever.

I open my eyes softly letting a burning and heavy feeling live in my eye lids as I roll over to face Miah who unlike me is wide awake and shaking me slowly.

"Marshall?" She whispers which is the noise that I heard a few seconds ago. Unless there are fucking ghosts living in this apartment- or the voices in my head. Lots of options here. I rub my eyes and put my arm behind my head as I watch her silhouette in front of me, "can we talk about something?".

I nod, but doubt she can see it and honestly I don't care if she can see it or not it's the middle of the night and she's waking me up for what? I swear if it's a craving I'm gonna be pissed. No. That's my baby and I shouldn't get mad at her. I'm still gonna be annoyed this early pregnancy craving is bull shit. I know for a fact that this isn't supposed to start happening till she's further in.

Miah's hands rest on my chest again gently feeling me up and down till she stops above my heart and I guess focuses on me again. I don't know I can't see her face. "What's the matter baby?" I mumble myself gripping her thigh softly and then jut letting my hand stay there.

"I just want- I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything.".

My breathing starts to hurt a little as a sadness fills my mind and a new worry erupts in my thoughts. Not a... new worry, but every horrifying thought I've ever had about Miah. It starts to crush my soul and before I know it my body is forcing me to sit up, reach over, and turn on the light.

It brightens the room and takes my sight for a second making my heart race faster and become more anxious since I can't see Miah in front of me. I'm over reacting. She's right here I'm just freaking out. It returns and I can see how upset Miah is with small tears in her eyes and guilt plaguing her.

I frown and grab her hands softly, but she pulls them away and sort of sits on them trying to keep herself from looking crazy. I know what she would do if they were in front of her. She would cross her fingers and sort of shake them until whatever anxious feeling leaves her. I don't know if she thinks I can't see clearly that she's upset or- you know.

"What's the matter?" I mumble to her. She takes a deep breath and goes to speak, but instead shakes her head at me letting her hair bounce slightly with each side.

My heart races again as my hands grip the sheets in my own upset and pissed off kind of way. I'm not pissed at her... I swear I'm not, but I would like to know what the fuck is going on!

I speak up and more clear, "Miah what is wrong?" My voice sounds angry and mean, but dammit she can't wake me up in the middle of the night and then do this shit!

"I just want everything to go back to normal, but the woman in the bathroom said it won't and I don't want to treat you like shit and I don't want to feel crazy and I don't want to create problems where there's nothing wrong- and I... I can't... I'm not cut out to be a mom- I-".

The woman in the bathroom. Damn. How long was I asleep?

"Miah it's okay, we're fine. Everything's okay."

"No it's not, just yesterday I hated you and now I can't imagine life without you. I just want to be normal."

"Miah it's not you, it's your hormones. Having a baby does this, I mean this is what I was warning you about when you told me. You're gonna be upset about things you normally wouldn't be, you're gonna want things you usually wouldn't, and you're gonna think and act in weird ass ways."