You'll Be In My Heart

Chapter 33

Wine has never gotten me drunk before, but I'm feeling it with this Verdi brand. I'm barely half way through, the room is tilting, and the light coming from the street posts are starting to blind me. I'm not wasted enough where I don't know who I am or where I am, but you best believe I'm working on getting there. One swig at a time.

It's been... thirty minutes I want to say? Since Miah and me had the smallest fight of our lives. Tommy came in a few minutes ago to check on me, but instead he made me feel like the worst father in the world by asking me why I'm not out there with Miah opening presents and enjoying our babies. Being a normal fucking man.

Well guess what bitch! I'm not a normal fucking white guy like everyone else. I haven't been since I put on a mic and started saying Hi like an asshole. I'm not me anymore! I'm never going to be that person again. Bitch ass Marshall Mathers or annoying ass Slim Shady. I'm not them. I'm- this.

A fucking cock head who can't man up and raise a baby. A baby that I know is going to be just like me. How the fuck can Miah stick herself with me. Why hasn't she packed her stuff and ran away from me like everyone else has. How can she love me when I'm fucking up everything between us. How can she be such a pussy and do this to us.

I grab the bottle from me besides me as- of fucking course! It's empty. Hu. Who the hell drank the rest of it. That wasn't me. I've been sober for ten years I wouldn't do that, but I think I'm gonna start.

I push myself up, tripping a little, but grabbing the wall for support. The walls that finally dried and I hung shelves and pictures. Pictures of Miah and daddy for the babies. Good ones of us in love before all this shit.

Yeah. That's right.

My legs know better than my mind at this point as I stumble out of the nursery and into the living room where the little baby shower thing is happening. Tommy stands amongst a group of women handing out glasses of wine and cupcakes and shit like a fag with some stupid pink hat on his head. He's better than that. He's a great fucking man how he got caught up with a bitch like Emma is beyond me.

"You okay Marshall?" He asks making people look at me and probably wonder why the fuck this guy here can't man up and take care of his baby. Why he's gotta he such an insecure asshole. Huh? Why Marshall? Why the fuck am I like this!

Why are they still staring at me? "Where'd you put that bottle you're using for those glasses?".

"It's in the kitchen on ice, but let's think rationally when I tell you a bottle is missing and you're tripping over your feet."

"I'm fucking fine don't worry- about me. Worry about your gossiping bitch.".

That's all I gotta say to you fucker. Mother fucker. Mudda fucka! Yeah. I'm funny. Why wouldn't Miah love me I'm the funniest person she's ever met.

I guess I finally make it into the kitten where Miah's mom and Emma's mom sit talking over a few platters of food at the table. Hey that's what I need right now. Adrianne's punk ass to give me shit about how I'm older and how I'm tipsy and how I'm bad for her daughter.

"Well guess what your daughter is easy to get in bed!".

Why did I say that out loud?

Adrianne and- Stephanie? I think that's her name, but I don't give a fuck she isn't my mother in law. They both look at me confused as I grab the freezing cold bottle of wine and pop the top off like only an expert would. "I need a glass... where are the cups at now.".

Neither of them answer because they are stuck up bitches and just want me to be miserable. Miserable and pissed off, but I don't care I'm happy and I'm finally thinking and I could write an entire song right now if I wanted it to. I could even call it I'm Back For Real. Make it all about wine and Miah.