Brooklyn's Centric.
In My Blood.
BROOKLYN.
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up.
I was sitting in my room, also known as the 'Jacklyn' room, well it used to be the Jacklyn room.. I shared a room with Harvey now, not that I hate Harvey I love him he's my best friend! But Andy, Rye, Mikey and Jack have all moved into Rye's room, because they all confessed their love to each other.
And here am I, sitting in my room feeling the four walls already cave in. I've been avoiding the boys as much as I could, not that they would've noticed it anyway.
It's just me anyway..
I shook my head, already feeling the tears stream down my cheeks.
But I just can't
It isn't in my blood.
This was totally not something I would do, but the hate Roadies have been saying about me, the boys their love for only each other. It made my mind go mad. Why can't the world just understand I need love to?
Laying on the bathroom floor, feeling nothing
I'm overwhelmed and insecure, give me something
I could take to ease my mind slowly.
I was sitting on the bathroom, almost laying down. I felt completely numb, like no one would care what I was about to do. I felt hatred with myself, upset with myself. But I mostly hated myself to fall in love with 4 boys, who does that even!? Oh yeah right.. I do..
Just have a drink and you'll feel better
Just take her home and you'll feel better
Keep telling me that it gets better
Does it ever?
I held the bottle of Vodka next to me as I just stared at it. Emotionless. A drink may work. I opened the bottle and immediately took a huge sip, it was burning my throat but I didn't care. I deserved it.
Everyone tells me it gets better, but why am I feeling like this if it gets better?
Well?
Exactly...
I gulped as I grabbed the blade I had hid away from the boys ever since I came on trial. I've been depressed before, I just hoped I would never had to go back to those dark days again. Guess I'm in the middle of the storm right now.
Help me, it's like the walls are caving in
Sometimes I feel like giving up
No medicine is strong enough.
I whimpered as I slowly slid the small blade across my left arm. I hissed at the stinning pain, but ignored it by biting my lip hard, I felt it bleed but didn't care about. My mind was focused on what I was doing. I continued this on my right arm and my thighs. Until I my vision started to go blurry.
I grabbed a towel trying to stop to blood, only to make it worse. As my panic rose my dizziness got higher and I knew I had to do something. I grabbed my phone and called the first person that came in mind.
Harvey.
"Brooke? You alright man?" Harvey chuckled slightly "Someone help me,I'm crawling in my skin." I whimpered softly as I let my phone go and fell on the floor. I heard yelling, a door being kicked in, more yelling and talking.
The last thing I saw before the darkness swallowed me up was; Andy's worried face. And I knew I had to fight.
Looking through my phone again feeling anxious
Afraid to be alone again, I hate this
I'm trying to find a way to chill, can't breathe, oh
Is there somebody who could...
I woke up when the sky was all black making it clear for me it was night. I looked around the room seeing the boys all a sleep on the chairs, small beds, or even the floor.
I bited my lip and grabbed my phone already feeling anxious for what was happening on social media.
Roadtriptv: we are sad to tell you guys this.. Brooklyn is in the hospital because he.. Uhm.. He cut himself way to deep in his wrists. We don't know any news, but will keep you posted,
Andy, Rye, Mikey & Jack.
❤: 567,88. Rt: 234.00 responded: 2000.
Princess_Fowler: good he listened to all of us😂
RyePie: I know right? They must feel so relieved right now.
MissWyatt: Brooke get back to us😭...
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"Brooke? What are you doing?" I heard a raspy voice ask me, my head immediately shot up seeing all the boys awake, looking at me and my phone. Mikey immediately grabbed it reading what I just read and locked it before wiping away tears.
"Stop looking at hate Brooky." He spoke brokenly as he tried so hard to keep it together, but we all knew he would break soon. "Why?" Jack asked as he stepped closer to the bed, "Y-You w-wouldn't g-get i-it!" I said my voice breaking at the words that came out of my mouth.
My eyes started to burn and now I just didn't care, I let them all go. I cried, cried and cried.
"Sometimes I feel like giving up. But I just can't" I told them holding my arms even tighter. "Brooke what made you do this?" Andy asked gently as he sat in front of me, I looked at them and just set my mind on; 0. I grabbed Andy's cheeks and smashed our lips together, Andy was shocked but kissed me back, surprising me but who am I to complain? Maybe this will be the last time I get to taste on one of their lips.
As we pulled away Andy's face was all flustered. I sat back down "You can hate me now." I muttered, "Is that why you did this?" Rye's raspy voice asked me, I looked up at them again, tears spilling over my cheek.
"The hate got to me as well." I muttered looking down, ashamed of myself. "Brooke you've should have told us before! We love you to!" Mikey said before he smashed our lips together, then Jack went and then Rye kissed me. I was totally shocked before I let everything sink in, I smiled and touched my lips softly.
"Be our boyfriend?"
I looked at Andy and smiled nodding "You guys will help me right?" I asked them already feeling afraid to be alone again, "Always and forever." Rye smiled and pecked my lips. I nodded and layed down again, closing my eyes.
This time I went to sleep with a smile instead of a frown.
Things will get better no matter how long it will take, you'll get better.
You're always stronger then you think.
Stronger then you know.
Smarter then you believe.
Braver then you think.
You should always be you and no one else, the real you is what matters not what those others tell you to do.
Be yourself please.. Don't lose yourself please.. I beg you not to...
Love,
Brooklyn
