Requested by: jrandlyn1
Hope you enjoy xx
ANDY.
People always commented about the way I look. It had gotten so bad lately that I've been so self conscious about my looks and I also noticed that the others seemed to like me less and less.
I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. I pulled at my 'fat' as people had mentioned me about it. I bited my lip as I slowly grabbed my razor, I looked at it as I twirled it around my fingers taking a deep breath.
No Andy you promised you would stop.
But who's here to stop you?
Well no one but still!
Exactly no one. Because no one cares about you Andy.
That's -
The truth we know honey.
No!
Shut up and listen to us Andy. To be pretty you gotta have scars. To be beautiful you gotta starve.
Please no.
"ANDY! WHEN ARE YOU DONE? YOU'RE TAKING FOREVER!" Jack yelled as I shook my head. I looked at my razor and put it in my pocket I would put it away later. I went out of the bathroom seeing Jack standing there annoyed "Finally." He said shoving me a side.
I sighed as I went to the living room which also was mine and Mikey's room also the Mindy room.
I sat down on my bed and went on my phone accidentally letting my razor fall on the ground by the couch. I sat on my bed and went on twitter but quickly went off that to seeing the many hate I got. "Andy wanna go to Asda?" Rye asked I looked up at him but shook my head, Rye rolled his eyes and left. This went on for a while at least a week. The boys kept asking me to do things but I would just decline them just like I did today. I also messed up a few covers as my voice just cracked. And the boys haven't even noticed I'm down or sad lately.
I walked from the bathroom towards the Mindy room until I heard the boys laugh in Jack and Brooklyn's room. I didn't meant to eavesdrop but I couldn't help it. I listened closer to the door and heard them talking about.. Me?
"He's just so annoying lately!" Brooklyn groaned "Yeah he hasn't been active as well." Jack added "He's just lazy." Rye laughed. Alright that went through my heart. "He's also gaining weight though." Mikey added making my heart break into million of pieces. I knew I was fat but not that much was I? I slowly lifted my shirt a bit poking my stomach immediately seeing the fat. The voices where right.
(Trigger warning)
I went back into the bathroom, putting the shower on as I pulled my razors out of my pockets. After they found them I had to hide them better.
Come on Andy! Cut.
I smirked as I sliced the razor on my wrist, I smiled even more as I saw the blood come out of the cut I made. But no it isn't enough I need more. I deserve this pain, I'm a ugly lazy fat ass. I deserve to be hated upon. As I made at least 10 mores on each arm I finally found it enough and wrapped my arms up, I pulled my sleeves down so no one could see.
Good job Andy! Next stop starving.
What's you're name actually?
Call me Anne.
Thank you Anne for helping.
No problem. Now you gotta skip dinner okay?
Alright.
I walked out of the bathroom -after putting the shower out- and went into the living room seeing the others there as well. Those betraying assholes. I sat down on my bed and went on twitter and Instagram liking some things here and there. "Hey Andy? you wanna come? We are going to Nando's." Brooklyn chirped excitedly. How many calories do they even have? I bet loads.
Don't. Do. It. Andy! It is bad, very bad.
"No, I already had something." I lied to them, Rye looked at me weirdly but shrugged it off. "Whatever you say lazy." Mikey scoffed making my heart ache even more.
They don't like you Andy. But I'm here to help them like you.
Thank you.
The guys got back after two hours of eating, who in their right mind would even eat so long? "Hey Andy we are going shopping tomorrow wanna join?" Rye asked as he looked me in the eyes. I shook my head no, knowing my voice will give me away.
After a month of starving myself and cutting my wrists the boys started to get suspicious, but they don't care they haven't cared in a while. Anne on the other hand has been a huge help to me. I was once again sitting on the bathroom floor with a razor in my hand. I sighed as I sliced them again until the door got kicked open making me in total panic mood as I saw the boys standing there. They gasped as they saw my arm covered in blood, Rye was the first one to act and immediately cleaned my cuts.
Rye pulled me towards the living room as everyone waited for my explaining. Which they won't get. "Why?" Mikey asked sadness filling his voice, I felt anger build inside me "WHY? BECAUSE NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME MICHAEL! THE FANS AND EVEN YOU GUYS! YOU GUYS SHOULD HAVE NOTICED ME BEING DOWN. Y-you guys should have seen me drown." I told them and by the end I was a sobbing mess.
"Andy please." Rye begged me as I only scoffed "Shut up." I told him, Rye shook his head "I'm sorry for what I did really. But you gotta stop starving and cutting please. I love you Andy." Rye pleaded me. I looked at him and nodded feeling loved for once, Rye smiled and smashed our lips together, me melting in the kiss as I held onto him. "I love you Andy, be my boyfriend? Let me make you better." Rye said looking me in the eyes, I felt tears stream down my face as I nodded not trusting my voice. Rye hugged me tightly telling me we will get there.
It may take us A while, but at least I got my friends back. Rye even likes me back! How amazing is that? Super amazing. I don't care how long this will take me but I will get better.
