What's wrong with my life?

Chapter 38

A year later
Nia POV
It's been a year and everything has been going great. Me and Xai are doing good. Noah is now 3 and Xaine is 4. I recently turned 19 and the party was lit. Me and trey threw Xai a surprise birthday party at his club. He said I tried to seduce him but I think he was lying. I still haven't talked to my sister. We haven't seen Noah's mom but she signed him over to us. I still live with Xai. I decided why not we're basically a family. Noah calls us mom and dad. We tell him not to but he doesn't listen. I've been going to therapy. My dad told me I should. He thinks I'm crazy. Ain't that's something he hasn't been in my life in forever now he trying to call me crazy. I wasn't going to go either. But Xai made me. He doesn't even like his dad. So yea that's basically it. Oh yeah xai taught me how to drive and he gave me the Aston Martin. Now I'm driving to therapy. I hate this place it makes me depressed. I pulled into a parking lot. Got out and walked to the therapist office. "Go on in Nia." The receptionist said. He was very handsome. His name was Eric he had brown hair and dressed in polo and sperry's. His uncle was my therapist. "Hi Nia have a seat." I sat in the chair. "So how are you?" "I'm okay what about you?" "I'm good." "How is your relationship?" "We are wonderful." I said. "What about Noah?" "He's good." "How are you and your family?" "I still haven't talked to them." "Even your grandma?" "Yea I told her about me getting kicked out. She told me that's what I get for being grown. So I cut them all off." "How was your relationship before you got kicked out?" "My sister was always putting her boyfriend before me and my other sister. So I knew one day I was either going to run away or get kicked out. And her and my grandma always argued. They have a toxic relationship. My grandma is also very mean and she always yells at me for nothing. She is one of those people you can't argue with because they think they're right." I told him. "Hm Ok. You know you can't hold a grudge for forever." "Why not I've done it for this long." "God doesn't like that." "No disrespect but your my therapist not my pastor." "Your right. But you are a very angry person. You really need to start letting things go." I didn't say anything. "If you don't you just might loose someone who really cares about you." He said getting up and walking to the window. "Like who?" "Nia will you stop it. A lot of people care about you." "Xai is the only person." "What about your friends?" 
He waited for me to say something. "Exactly what about your dad?" "He thinks I'm crazy." "No sweetie if he thought you were crazy you would be in an asylum. He just wants what's best for you." "Please he doesn't care about me he left my mom and my sisters for crack." "Nia you have to let go. Your mom let go of him so you have to too." "You don't no anything about my mom." I said. "Oh I don't?" "No you don't." "What would you say if I told you I use to have her as a patient?" I got quiet again. "Yes your mom use to come here all the time telling me all her problems. How scared she was of being a single mom with 2 kids. You were just turning 2. Your dad was out partying all night not caring. Once you turned 5 and your mom was pregnant again. Your dad wanted a boy so bad. But once your mom had a girl. He walked out." "Ho-How do you know that?" "Oh and I know that he wanted to sell you. Oh and hmm his mom didn't claim you guys as her grandkids either. That hurt you didn't it." "Just be quiet please." "Your mom she really loved you guys. She use to talk non stop about you all." "Is this over really I have things to do." "Well it's over then." "Ok thanks bye" I said getting my stuff to leave. "Nia" he called out. I stopped but didn't turn around. "Let go you have a lot of anger built up. That will mess you up in the future. Your just like your mom scared of what will happen. But she let go now it's your turn." I opened the door and walked out. "Is everything ok?" Eric asked. "Yes when's my next appointment?" "Thursday at 2:30" he said.  "Thank you." I said about to walk away. "Nia it's going to be okay" He said with his hands out. "I'm okay really." I said assuring him. "Okay be safe out there." "Thank you." I walked out to my car and drove home. I plugged my phone to the aux cord. I put on a Jhene Aiko playlist. Triggered came on first. I kept driving and singing. I didn't realize where I was driving to until I turned into the cemetery. I got out locked the car and walked up to her grave. "Hi mommy." I said smiling. "I don't know if you still watch me from up there but too much has happened. It's like no one wants me here anymore. I know suicide is never the answer. Because then I wouldn't be able to see you. People are starting to call me mean. They say I have demons too. Ma these people think I'm crazy." I laughed to myself. Then bursted out in tears. "Mommy i need help" I cried out. I sat on her grave hugging her gravestone. "Ni your going to be okay. I know it's seems hard right now the therapist was right you have to let go. Go back to church get your life back on track. Make your sister mad at how wonderful you've become. Make her realize that she needs to leave ol boy." I looked up to see my mom I was laying on her. "Mommy?" "Yes?" "Your here" "I've always been here." "What?" "You fell asleep. Now I'm here."  "I-i have so many questions." "Well ask them as long as there not about god or heaven." "No it's not." "It's about your dad huh?" "Yes how you know." "I'm your mom." "Why did you forgive him?" "He hurt me yes but it was making me more sick holding a grudge. He literally broke my heart but I had to worry about you and your sisters. So I decided to move on and when I did I was finally happy." "So I have to forgive him?" "If you want to it's your life." "Maaa" "Don't start that whining girl your grown you make your own decisions." "Buttt mommy I don't know what to do." "Yes you do Nia you've done the right thing so far don't mess up now. I love you and don't do anything to loose your boyfriend. He loves you no matter how much he puts you through or just because he doesn't say it." "Ok mommy I love you too." "Wake up and go home." She said hugging me. I woke up and I was still laying on the  gravestone it was late. I kissed the gravestone and walked to my car. I got in and sped home. He's going to be so freakin mad🤦🏽‍♀️. I got him some food so he wouldn't be so mad. I took the back way so it would be faster. I pulled into the driveway and let up the garage. I drove in and closed it then went in the house. "Mommy Nia!!" Noah exclaimed. "Hey baby" I said hugging him. I looked at Xai and he was staring at me. "Where you been?" "I fell asleep at the grave while talking to my mom ." "You fell asleep?" "Yes I think I was crying so much that I fell asleep." "Do you want to talk about it?" "Not right now. But I got you some food." "What you got?" "Chinese. And I got Noah a kids meal from McDonald's." "You gon make him fat." "Omg no I'm not." "I'm just playing but come sit with me. I missed you you had me worrying. I thought you ran away." I busted out laughing "I would never leave you. You'll just have bones find me anyway." "Yea I would your not leaving me." He laughed. "And vice versa." "Mommy Nia I'm hungwey." "Ok here you go." I handed him his food. He took it and ran away. "Stop running!" I yelled he quickly stopped and looked back smiling. "I love youu." "I love you too Now go eat." "Your a good mom." Xai said. "Thanks so what you two do all day?" "That's between me and him." He winked. I rolled my eyes and sat next to him and ate my food.