What's wrong with my life?

Chapter 39

I woke up and looked at the time. It was 5:30 I was up really early I have to work at 9. I got up and walked out to the balcony. I closed my eyes and sat on the edge. It's been a year since I got kidnapped. But I still think about what happened.
Flashback
I woke up on a cold mattress and I started freaking out. My vision was blurry. "Your up finally." "What do you want with me?" "What do you mean I always told you we'll always be together. You should've never left. Now let's finish what we were doing a couple years ago." "Kj please I don't want to." "Still not letting nobody fuck huh? What about ol boy I know you had to let him in at least once. Why are you still like this?" "Kj you need help." "I DONT NEED HELP I LOVE YOU I GAVE YOU EVERYTHING!" "You did I'm not going to lie. I'm sorry." "Yo-Your sorry?" "Yes your right you gave me anything I wanted. I'm sorry I should've been a better girlfriend." "Do you still love me?" I was silent because I didn't love him. "No I don't" I said. "Why?" "You hurt me." "YoU hUrT mE" he laughed. I had tears in my eyes. "Your a bitch you know that. But I still love you. Come here." I didn't move as much as I wanted to I didn't. He got up and came to me. My heart started racing. He wrapped his hands around me and hugged me. Then this nigga kissed me. I was so disgusted. I pushed him off. "Why you always gotta push a nigga" "I don't like you" I said mugging him. He put his hand on my thigh and inched it up. "Stop" I said. He kept going looking dead in my eyes. "Kj stop I'm serious" I said. I pushed him but that only made it worse. He pushed me down. And put his hand in my panties. "Don't please stop." I cried. "Shut up" he growled. He put his hand in my vagina. I cried harder. He slapped me and pulled his finger in and out. "STOP ITT!" I yelled at him he took his finger and licked it. "Your a disgusting human being" I spat. He stood there and started laughing. I looked at him confused. He came down to my level and stuck two fingers back in me. I tried kicking him but his fingers went deeper when I put my leg up. "If you moan for me I'll stop." He said sliding his fingers in and out. "I'm not moaning for you so just stop. "Your so stubborn. But I'm not going to stop." He whispered in my ear. I couldn't hold it in I cried. Waiting for someone to come. Is anyone going to come?
End of flashback
I sat on the edge with tears in my eyes. "Nia?" Xai called out. I'm not going to let him see me cry. I know he probably thinks there's something new everyday. I know I cry a lot. It's just I've been through so much. "You okay?" I turned my head and put on a fake smile. "Yes I'm okay I was just looking at the sky" I lied. "Get down before you fall" he said walking over. "Ok I'm not trying to commit suicide." He smiled and held his hands out. I got down and jumped into his arms. "Damn I'm still half sleep" he said. "Watch the sunrise with me" I said. "Why can't we just go to sleep?" "I mean you already up." He rolled his eyes but stayed up anyways. The sun came up turning the night sky into a orange like color. "Come on let's go lay back down" he said. I nodded and went to lay back down. I laid my head on his chest hearing his heartbeat. "Xai?" "Yeah?" "I lied to you." "About?" "I'm not okay. I can't lie to you and say that I am. I'm really hurting on the inside. Truth is I've been thinking about my ex and all the foul things he's did to me and tried to do." "I'm sorry that happened to you." "It's okay it's not like he raped me. But one day he's going to get what's coming for him and Kirah too." "Don't worry about her." "No it's okay I'm going to make sure she knows I don't play." "Your so crazy." He said drifting off to sleep. I held on to him tighter and fell asleep also.
2 hours later...
I got up and put on the outfit I bought last year but never wore. I wand curled my long weave. Xai wants me to wear my natural hair but I don't even like it. Once I was ready I went downstairs. Noah was already up watching cartoons. "Good morning mama." "Good morning baby boy." "I'm hungry." "Okay I'll fix you some food." "Can I work too?" "You want to go to work with me?" "Yes." "Ok you have to get ready first." We went upstairs and I picked him out an outfit to wear. I went  back downstairs and made some breakfast for him and me a fruit bowl. Eventually he came back downstairs looking so cute. "You brushed your teeth?" "Yes mommy see" he said smiling. "Yes I see. Come eat so we can leave." "Ok." He sat down and ate his food while I wrapped Xai's food up and put it in the fridge. "I finished" Noah said with a mouth full of food and food still on his plate. "Your not done. It's okay you can finish." He kept eating. I knew he wasn't done. Eventually he was finished and we got in the car and left.